tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post7987769230159175815..comments2023-09-26T05:14:02.611-04:00Comments on o filthy grandeur!: On elder abuseFilthyGrandeurhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08939478425921080818noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-67768654258926393452009-09-15T22:03:10.662-04:002009-09-15T22:03:10.662-04:00I am truly saddened that your grandfather is in th...I am truly saddened that your grandfather is in that environment. He has always had a quiet demeanor,years ago when he was healthy he said many times 'its easier than arguing'. I truly wish I had some rights to step in and help. I probably don't though. If you find a resource that states you have a voice in this situation - WE HAVE A HOME FOR HIM TO COME TO! Seriously. And DaddyGrandeur says so too! I am keeping your grandpa in my prayers.luvandfamilynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-68130348068706375222009-09-15T16:21:48.812-04:002009-09-15T16:21:48.812-04:00Oh hon. I'm sorry. I recognize the quiet your ...Oh hon. I'm sorry. I recognize the quiet your grandpa is exhibiting, even when you try to give him space to talk. He knows that even if you are accepting, anything he says (or the fact that he dared to speak, period) can and will be used against him later by her... its a pattern in my family too...<br /><br />I'm not sure what the law is in Michigan. In PA, elderly and disabled folks actually have the right to assistive services to live on their own in the community - rather than in nursing homes. Search for "independent living" near their area -- there should be an IL center nearby -- contact them and ask for advice. They should be able to refer you to resources in general on what is available to him as an elderly/disabled man as well... ADAPT is organized in most places as well and may have some advice.<br /><br />That requires, of course, moving out on his own :-\ and he might not be ready for that. Separation is a big thing in a relationship with that long a history, and theres also just the fact that when you suffer this kind of abuse, over time your trust in your own sense of self breaks down, so you feel less able/motivated to get out of the situation - you feel like this is the norm, nothing would be different anyway, this is what you deserve, this is all thats available to you anyhow, etc.<br /><br />Are there any extended family members you can trust to talk to?<br /><br />I don't know for sure... this is all my foggy brain throwing things out there. It's awful that you (plural) are having to go through this and I really hope you are able to find someone/somewhere that can really help.amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00741559544508220186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-47521287932149358082009-09-15T15:46:56.083-04:002009-09-15T15:46:56.083-04:00thanks for the advice everyone--i will be looking ...thanks for the advice everyone--i will be looking into my options, but since there's not a strong sense of family on that side, i don't know if i can count on anyone backing me. everyone seems afraid of upsetting my grandma, even though that's inevitable. i appreciate the support nonetheless. i feel sort of stuck as it is, plus living in a different state makes things difficult.FilthyGrandeurhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08939478425921080818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-56306493232350751172009-09-15T15:44:14.731-04:002009-09-15T15:44:14.731-04:00What a terrible situation. I wish that I could of...What a terrible situation. I wish that I could offer some kind of help but unfortunately I really don't know what to do in the case of elder abuse.Reneehttp://www.womanist-musings.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-44757664791568113272009-09-15T15:37:40.909-04:002009-09-15T15:37:40.909-04:00I read this and it really pained me. I suspect som...I read this and it really pained me. I suspect some elderly abuse in my family but we attacked as a family and moved people around. But sadly I have no real answers. That bugs me because I really wish I could say something worthwhile.Craighttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06008854814280963268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-36928495318150881082009-09-14T20:28:42.550-04:002009-09-14T20:28:42.550-04:00A therapy/social work organization like this might...A therapy/social work organization like <a href="http://seniorcounselingservices.info/default.html" rel="nofollow">this</a> might also help (I don't know if that organization is in the right geographical area for your family). Even if you feel weird about setting up an appointment for a social worker to come to their home, it might be worth calling to see if they have other ideas for you.occhibluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10959609703492637689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-19613966626275077792009-09-14T20:21:48.178-04:002009-09-14T20:21:48.178-04:00Adult Protective Services would be where you'd...Adult Protective Services would be where you'd report elder abuse. <a href="http://www.michigan.gov/dhs/0,1607,7-124-5452_7119-15663--,00.html" rel="nofollow">Michigan's APS</a>.occhibluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10959609703492637689noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5264581077330970620.post-72987751887206675182009-09-14T19:41:22.426-04:002009-09-14T19:41:22.426-04:00Unfortunately, I have no experience with this, and...Unfortunately, I have no experience with this, and I don't know what resources are out there for elderly abuse. <br /><br />One thing I think you should do right now is contact those friends of family members you mentioned that want to help. There's no question that this is a case of abuse, but your case will look even stronger if you have more people to testify to it. Not to mention, it will make this whole situation easier to get through if you can all work together. <br /><br />Sorry I can't offer anymore help. I hope your grandpa is able to get out of that situation.stufflikemikanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100198581699698113noreply@blogger.com