o filthy grandeur!

Harry Potter Pumpkins (and how to make your own)

2010-10-26T14:37:00.000-04:00

Yeah I know I haven't been posting in a long time, and I should let you know right away that that's not likely to change. Nonetheless, I love carving pumpkins, and given the amount of work I put into them (including creating patterns from actual pictures, applying my patterns to the pumpkins, gutting the pumpkins, and then actually carving them) I wanted to share them with a wider audience. I'm actually pleased with how they turned out, having learned some way to improve on last year's small issues.

Image description: group shot of four Harry Potter-themed pumpkins, lit with candles. From left to right: Harry, Ron, Voldemort, Hermione.

More pictures below the fold

Image description: Carved pumpkin of Harry's face, left side lit, right side in shadow, lit with candle.

Image description: Carved pumpkin of Ron's face, lit with candle.

Image description: Carved pumpkin of Hermione's face in profile, lit with candle.

Image description: Voldemort as captured on pumpkin flesh, right hand extended outward, left hand holding wand, lit by candle.

These collectively took about 12 hours of work. I had already chosen my pictures for the patterns and had them printed, but I used a pencil to circle areas I would cut out, and to shade in areas to indicate where I would use the knife to dig out shaded areas. The most difficult was Voldemort's pattern, and that was only made more difficult because of the extra thick skin of the pumpkin assigned to him (lesson quickly learned). Harry was probably the second-most difficult because of his glasses. It was hard sliding the knife to shade around the frame without damaging it.

Tips on making your own

Basically, you can make a pattern out of any photo, but some are more easily translated into pumpkin patterns than others. When I was searching for pictures to base my patterns on I looked for images that had significant lighted areas and dark areas. Images that are too light won't work so well.

Here's the image I finally chose for Harry:

Poster from HP6 of Harry Potter

I then copied the image of the poster into a word document, made it as large as I could (which involved some tweaking of the margins), then changed the picture to grayscale. To get the varied tones I needed I played around with the contrast and brightness to get this:

Image description: Poster of HP6 with Harry cropped and changed to grayscale

Each pattern ended up with a different combination of brightness vs. contrast, so it's more of an "I'll know it when I see it" type thing. Basically the goal is to get three shades: black (which will be pieces not cut out), white (pieces to cut out so the light shines through), and gray (which will be areas shaded by scraping the skin of the pumpkin).

Once I printed them off, I used a pencil to outline the white areas, and to fill in the gray areas. I used the white only as a highlight--if it looked like it could be either-or, I opted for the gray shade. Sadly, I did not scan the final pattern so you could see the penciled areas, but you can probably figure out what is what from the carving.

Transferring the patterns then was simple, which involved the poke method most pattern books tell you. After I had dotted the pattern, I took a permanent marker to connect the dots, using my pattern as a guide since these can look a little complicated in dot form. For the gray areas, I filled them in with my marker so I would know to scrape them entirely, and to keep them separated from the white areas.

Next, I gutted and scraped each pumpkin, scraping the pattern wall to about one inch thickness (I actually went a little thin with a couple of the pumpkins, since it's hard to be exact). For the carving, you have to scrape out the gray areas first, otherwise the whole thing will collapse if you do it after cutting out the white. I've found nothing compares to a paring knife in this step, as it has a good size and shape for sliding along the border lines and then leveraging pieces out. I would press the knife along the lines, and slowly pry little chunks out, careful not to destroy the areas bordering it. I went about 1/4 deep, maybe a bit more. Depending on the thickness of your wall, it doesn't take much to get the shading right. And since I used a knife, it's not really uniform, which actually helps give it texture. Only after I removed all the shaded areas did I use my carving saw (which I got in a kit--I just give away the book that comes with it) to remove the white pieces. Since my walls were a little thin, I had to be extra careful with this step, and found that carving out the sides attached to gray parts first helped a lot, since the motion of the saw would have snapped these thinned out areas.

When I was done, I sprayed all of my pumpkins with a weak bleach-water solution, which I've read helps preservation. This is the first year I've done it though, so we will see how effective it is. I carved these only last night, so hopefully they will make it through the week. Right now I'm keeping them indoors since we're experiencing some heavy windstorms.

Overall, what I've noticed is that even when I've created a pattern of someone's face, and marked it up accordingly, it stops looking like a face--but don't worry. Even though it looks strange, or looks like something is just not right, usually it will turn out fine once lit up. There were a couple of times when I thought I should change something as I was carving it, but I recommend not doing that, especially if you've created a pattern with an exact picture. Sometimes the patterns don't come together at all until you light the pumpkin up and get the full effect.

Don't be intimidated by the time, either--it only took me 12 hours because I was weird and wanted to do four, and really the most time-consuming thing was gutting and scraping the insides, especially since I had to sort and bake the seeds of four pumpkins (and the pumpkin I used for Harry is twice the size of the others). But the actual carving and scraping of the patterns didn't take all that long for each one. I don't have an exact time on that, since I was baking batches of seeds, and was watching a couple of movies while carving, but once the pattern is on there with everything marked accordingly, all you have to do is follow it exactly.

Hopefully this helps. If you have any questions about carving and need more tips, feel free to leave a comment or email me.

On elder abuse II

2010-08-11T21:40:00.000-04:00

Note: This is me venting. I am not a therapist of any kind, nor do I presume to be one. Everything in this post is based on what I've observed, and how I try to make sense of it. It in no way is intended to reflect the experience of others, particularly those who suffer with addiction or mental illness. I am not speculating on the connection between addiction and mental illness with verbal abuse beyond the scope of my own experience in my own family.

In September of '09, I wrote a post regarding elder abuse, in which I discussed the verbal attacks my grandpa sustained daily. This last weekend, I observed my grandpa in the garage, trying to get me to stay and visit with him, and felt so guilty I couldn't stay. I am ashamed that it took me almost a year to act, and am ashamed that that "act" only manifested in a phone call to a help hotline earlier today. That phone call resulted in me being referred to Adult Protective Services. I will find out in a few days if they will act or not.

I just can't stand the thought of my grandpa being in that house, in that environment. He's a prisoner. He's dependent on my grandma, and all she does is treat him like shit.

My grandma humiliates my grandpa, blames him for his own accident (he's got limited mobility, and has a difficult time speaking resulting from cracking his head open three years ago). She insults him. She yells at him for everything. She controls his money. She doesn't let anyone except my dad be alone with him. I don't think he leaves the house except for doctor's visits. Well, that, and going out to the garage--the garage is the only place he can go to get away from her.

My aunt thinks it's my grandma acting against her fear of losing him--that she's so scared that he had that accident that it manifests in ugly, abusive ways. I've discussed reporting it with my aunt, and with a few other family members and friends of the family, but no one wants to be the one to raise the alarm. No one wants to hurt my grandma. But why should her fear, why should her feelings be more important than the well-being and happiness of my grandpa?

I know if my dad and grandma are contacted by Adult Protective Services, they will be upset. I will own up to it. I will be the betrayer. I will admit to disrupting their lives, and not fucking caring. My dad is perhaps worse than my grandma. He's an enabler. He's so fucking distracted with his alcohol addiction that he just "stays out of it." His own father is put through mental anguish to the point where he has told my aunt that he wishes he was dead, and my dad does nothing. He lives with my grandparents--sees this every damn day. He won't step in. He won't even fucking clean the house. He's so self-righteous, bragging that he lives with his parents to help them in their old age; it's bullshit--he only drinks.

It's like they're all just rotting there--Dad and Grandma are too deep in their own self-loathing; they're sinking. They're consumed by their own anger and frustration at the world--everything is always someone else's fault--that they've fallen into their own self-destructions. And my grandpa is being dragged down with them.

That family has always been the definition of dysfunction, and I admit that having grown up (partly anyway) in that house has left its mark on me, much to my own horror; and yes, my grandpa did his share of fighting back when he was able to (though that was mostly in response to my grandma's verbal attacks)--but I cannot let that man die in that house and not try to help him in some way.

If my dad wants to be a worthless sack of shit, if he wants to be self-destructive, I don't fucking care anymore. I honestly don't give a shit about him anymore. I'm past trying. I can't even remember all the times I tried with him, and only got yelled at. So fuck it. He can rot for all I care. And if my grandma wants to be useless in her house that hasn't been cleaned in I-don't-even-remember-how-long, then fine. She refuses to see a doctor, take her medication, or see a therapist. I dread visiting with her because of how awful she is. But I'll be damned if I leave my grandpa to wallow in that despair.

Even visiting that short time on Sunday was long enough to illustrate a very pathetic existence. It's almost indescribable. My dad is smoking and drinking his way to a sad and lonely end of life; he looks 20 years older than he is. And my grandma is stubbornly neglecting her own health. Why should my grandpa be neglected?

It's just so disgusting to think about. I'm anxious about hearing back from APS. I hope something can be done for him. He doesn't deserve to live his last years like this. No one does. I'm very afraid for him. And I'm disappointed in myself for not calling that number sooner. But I think, like everyone else, I was still afraid of hurting my grandma, and still felt guilty for even thinking it because I was afraid of alienating my own father.

But that guilt has turned to pity, and pity can't prevent me from doing what I should have done already.

Please help Renee's family

2010-08-06T13:35:00.001-04:00

Yesterday, Renee at Womanist Musings lost a dear member of her family: her nephew Jesse James Cox. Renee's family is unable to pay for a funeral, so she has reached out to the blogging community for help. If you are able to, any amount will help, please head over to her site. In the top left corner of the sidebar is a donation box.

I have admired Renee and her work for some time now. She's put a lot of effort into her site, and works daily to challenge racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, disableism, and many other forms of injustice. If you can help in any way, please visit her site.

My deepest condolences to Renee and her family during this time--losing a loved one is heartbreaking, and even more so when one is lost so young.

Sexual Assault in Back to the Future or "I'm totally about to ruin your nostalgic love for this movie, so get ready"

2010-07-14T01:30:00.000-04:00

[Trigger warning]

For the first time in probably more than ten years, I watched Back to the Future with my boyfriend, who had never seen it. I remember it being not that great, but it's one of those classic 80s movies that everyone should see once. I guess. Watching it as an adult was very different than that first viewing as a kid. Much of that had to do with my change in how I perceived the sexual assault in the movie.

I think we all know how the story goes: Marty's inventor friend, Doc, invents a time machine, Marty is sent back in time in his escape from scary brown terrorists, whom Doc cheated out of a proper bomb in exchange for time-traveling necessary plutonium. Before he locates Doc in 1955, Marty inadvertently prevents his parents from their fateful meeting.

Let's stop here for a sec because this is where the sexual assault first enters: Marty's mom, Lorraine, falls in love with George after her dad hits George with the car. Lorraine in 1985 still never knew what George was doing in the middle of the street in the first place. Well, Marty follows George in 1955 and we find out that George was in a tree with binoculars watching Lorraine undress. Lorraine's dad hits him, or is supposed to hit him, when he falls out of the tree. However, Marty pushes him out of the way and is hit by the car, thus becoming the love-interest to his mom.

At any rate, during the course of events where Marty tries to figure out how to return to 1985, and also how to ensure his existence by getting his parents to fall in love or at the very least "park the car," we observe more sexual assault. In the cafeteria, Lorraine is sitting with friends, and Biff (who in 1985 is George's boss, or at least more successful coworker) has his hands on Lorraine. She is clearly uncomfortable. She tells him to go away; she is cowering away from him. Marty encourages George to stop them, but George is afraid, and slinks away. So Marty steps in (which further cements Lorraine's attraction to him).

Later in the movie, Marty comes up with a plan to get George with Lorraine, a plan which involves Marty being not so nice to a nice girl (his mom), and he tells George to rescue her. George points out that that is not a very nice thing for Marty to do, but he assures George that's it's totally cool cuz it's pretend and stuff. Hear that everyone? Sexual assault is okay if you're only pretending to assault the woman to act as wingman to your buddy (or father!), but it's gotta be believable, so scare the shit out of her. Ugh. I can't believe I just wrote that.

Anyway, the plan goes wrong. Turns out Lorraine is totally hot for Marty, but quickly changes her mind when she finds kissing him feels like kissing her brother. Biff interrupts, and in an act of revenge against Marty for a sweet skateboard escape attempt that earlier trashed Biff's car, Biff hands Marty over to his thugs, and jumps in the car with Lorraine, presumably to "have his way" with her. Yeah, it's called rape, but it's not really treated as such in the movie. It does, however, mean that George can really prove himself a man because Lorraine is really being sexually assaulted by Biff (and not just pretend sexually assaulted by Marty). Long-ish uncomfortable scene short: George rescues Lorraine. Seriously, this scene was really uncomfortable to watch. I mean, after all the other assaults that Lorraine endures, it's made even more disgusting by the fact that I'm made to think "omg will no one save her?" That's what these assaults are all building up to, right? George has a chance to protect her, and eventually does before it can escalate anymore. But it's just a prop to motivate George, which falls into that cliche of women dying / being assaulted / or being in any other form of danger to cause a man to act (I think one of the best examples of this is Wolverine in the X-Men movies, since the women are basically required to die twice to get Wolverine to do stuff).

Oh, but after George proves his manliness by saving Lorraine's virtue, George gets another chance to really hang on to that manliness because (guess what!) Lorraine is assaulted AGAIN. Some random dude on the dance floor shoves George out of the way and has his hands on Lorraine even though she, again, says no, and even tries to get away. At this point I believe I was throwing things. Apparently the character of Lorraine exists solely for the purpose of being sexually assaulted. I mean, she like goes around doing Lorraine things, and gets assaulted. And it's okay, because eventually some upstanding man will defend her. Maybe. And even when she's sitting with friends, her friends just carry on like nothing is happening. Can I get some damn female solidarity please??

Oh yeah, George eventually reclaims Lorraine for a second time. Marty still exists. Hooray.

But there's one more thing I want to talk about before I wrap this up. Marty returns to 1985 to find that his and his family's lives have significantly improved because George is now a Man. We have several signifiers that tell us about the family's success: Marty's brother is wearing a suit and not a fast-food uniform! His sister has several boyfriends. SEVERAL! His mom is not fat! That's like, the best kind of mom, right? And his dad is the boss of other people! Including (omg you're so not ready for this) Biff. BIFF EVERYONE!! You know, the man who consistently sexually assaulted his mom in high school, including a near-rape! Yep. They keep him around to wax the car because it's an indicator of MANLY SUCCESS and is not at all triggering to Lorraine having her attacker so close every day of her adult life. Because Biff is subdued now, and is not at all likely to you know, attack her again despite having shown a propensity for just that behavior.

As a kid, I think I sort of glossed over these attacks. They're treated so callously in the movie that I didn't process it as something out of the norm. I simply accepted that Biff was a jerk, and Lorraine needed someone to save her, and then everything was okay. I didn't think of George as a predator, even though he is, because the movie still frames him as a hero. When I saw Biff at the end waxing the family car, I thought it was a funny sort of justice--ha, serves him right! Only as an adult do I see how utterly fucked up it is that Lorraine has to have him in close proximity, and how fucking unrealistic it is that she would be okay with that.

But no one cares about a woman's discomfort if it means her predator-turned-hero-turned-husband is all confidant and shit. Yay for manliness!

There is no justice--Oscar Grant's murderer sentenced to 2-4 years

2010-07-09T13:28:00.000-04:00

This is just utterly depressing. I just viewed the video again, [heavy trigger warning] and I am at a loss for words. How anyone can view that and buy into the cop's story that it was an accident is just beyond me. The guilty cop is Johannes Mehserle and is only getting 2-4 years for manslaughter. It's particularly telling that moments after the shooting, the cops involved attempted to confiscate witness' cell phones. How the fuck am I to believe he thought it was an accident when immediately following the police officers involved attempted to cover it up?

Mehserle's defense was that he thought he had reached for his taser, but in fact pulled his gun and shot Grant. The two weapons are one two different sides of his body. I find it highly unlikely that he did not know which weapon he reached for.

There are others who've said it better than I have, so I'll direct you to them. My deepest condolences with Grant's family at this time.

Anna Marie at Feministing:

Mehserle got involuntary manslaughter, y'all. INVOLUNTARY MANSLAUGHTER. That's what you get when you get into a car accident. According to ABC News, "Regarding the upcoming sentencing, Burris [Grant's family attorney] said, 'He should be going to jail for the rest of his life, but yet he very well may get a sentence that does not even require him to go to jail, which would be the ultimate insult and travesty that I can imagine.'

Melissa McEwan at Shakesville:

The whole taser-gun switcheroo is on what the verdict rests. It was Mehserle's contention that he had accidentally pulled out his gun (located on his right hip) instead of his taser (located on his left hip) and fired a round into Oscar Grant before realizing he'd "grabbed the wrong weapon."

Which, in my estimation, is all a red herring even irrespective of its alleged veracity (which is a whole other issue). The fact is, Mehserle could not have justifiably used his taser in that situation, either. Grant clearly hadn't come close to resisting, and thus Mehserle's intent was to hurt him, plain and simple. That he hurt him until he was dead doesn't make it involuntary. Fuck.

macon d at stuff white people do:

Violence in the wake of racial injustice is what gets the attention of the white-framed media, not the injustice itself. As I write this, CNN finds the news of a basketball player's team-switch bigger news; readers have to search more carefully for a link that says, "Hundreds protest after BART verdict."

Would "thousands" have bumped the story up the page? "Hundreds of thousands"? Whatever the number, it's the protests that the white-framed corporate media focus on today as the "story" here. Not the searing injustice of yet another light sentence for the state-sponsored killer of yet another unarmed black man.

I will likely be adding more to this list as the day goes on. You may consider this an open thread on the verdict.

The Last Airbender: fail fail and more fail

2010-07-02T00:15:00.000-04:00

I just returned from viewing the shitfest that is The Last Airbender, and my quick reaction to it is as follows: this movie seems to be done with such lack of care and detail that it views like Mr. Shyamalan heard about the popular cartoon show from a friend, and decided to make a movie based on a second-hand description. "Oh, so the brother and sister find this kid frozen in ice, and then they go to some temples, and some Earth Kingdom villages, and then the North Pole? Oh, yeah, let's throw in that flying buffalo thing...and the lemur too, I guess."

Okay, now to the longer complaints. First, the racebending, which, if you haven't heard, is the most obnoxious fucking thing about this horrible movie. What we have is an entirely Asian world. What Shyamalan has given us was a cast of white people in leading (good) roles and brown people as side characters and bad guys. One of the arguments that racist defenders of this casting will cite is that perhaps the white actors that got the parts did better than the other people who auditioned (like Asian kids!). Yeah, except that the casting call for the part of Aang called for a "caucasion" male. After having viewed the movie myself, I find it hard to believe that there is not one Asian actor who can out-act any of those awful white kids. Noah Ringer was somewhat passable--I mean, I'll give these kids some slack--the dialog just sucked big time, but nonetheless it wasn't as if any of these kids brought anything unique to their roles. Seriously, white Sokka didn't even need to be in this movie. He was just some white dude hanging around that occasionally felt the need to protect some ladies.

Shyamalan has responded to some of this legitimate criticism to his casting fail. This one's my favorite:

Here’s the irony of the conversation: The Last Airbender is the most culturally diverse movie series of all time. I’m not talking about maybe one Jedi, maybe one person of a different color – no one’s even close. That’s a great pride to me. The irony of this statement enrages me to the point of … not even the accusation, but the misplacement of it. You’re coming at me, the one Asian filmmaker who has the right to cast anybody I want, and I’m casting this entire movie in this color blind way where everyone is represented. I even had one section of the Earth kingdom as African American, which obviously isn’t in the show, but I wanted to represent them, too!

And I fought like crazy to have the pronunciation of the names to go back to the Asian pronunciation. So you say “Ahng” instead of “Aaang” because it’s correct. It’s not “I-rack,” it’s “ee-Rock.” I’m literally fighting for all this. And who’s getting blamed? ME! This is incredible. And so it’s infuriating, this stigmatization, that the first word about the most culturally-diverse movie of all time is this accusation. And here’s the irony of it, this has nothing to do with the studio system. I had complete say in casting. So if you need to point the racist finger, point it at me, and if it doesn’t stick, then be quiet.

So...pronouncing names the correct Asian way makes up for those names belonging to characters portrayed by white actors? And you're not racist because you're Asian and you're so aware of diversity that EVERYONE gets to play Asian dress-up? Yeah, not buying it. Shyamalan's sense of diversity doesn't even make sense: white kids as Inuits alongside brown Inuits in an isolated part of the (Asian) globe. Um. What?

I'm sure there are those who would have defended Shyamalan's utter race fail had this movie had even the tiniest entertainment value. But, lucky for us, there is none! I went into the theater tonight really hoping that the movie would at least feed my inner fandom. But, as I stated at the beginning of this post, it really seemed like Shyamalan never even saw the show. There were just so many beloved elements missing in this movie. I was aware going in that nothing good could really come of a movie cramming 20 episodes worth of events into an hour and a half long movie (which is quite short for movies of this type, but nonetheless felt like an eternity.)

It's hard not to compare this movie to the cartoon, but it's especially sad when the movie doesn't even do the cartoon an ounce of justice. All the movie characters are loosely based on the cartoon ones because Shyamalan exchanged important things like plot and character development for special effects. In the cartoon, Aang is an almost typical 12-year-old boy, who has to constantly do grown-up things. He's fun-loving and adorable, but when he's angry or grieving and falls into the Avatar state, we are angry and grieving with him. The Aang in the movie was a 12-year-old boy whose eyes glowed occasionally when he did some really serious martial arts moves. Katara in the cartoon is fearless, her love and protectiveness for Aang is endearing, and her skill as a waterbender is underscored by her ambition. She believes in Aang, but she also believes in herself. The Katara in the movie does magic with water sometimes, inexplicably follows Aang around, and is overall pretty dull. I mean, in the cartoon the reason she's excited to meet Aang in the first place is because she's never met another bender before, and they go to the North Pole so she can learn waterbending from a Master--yes, she likes Aang, but with his flying bison (which was horribly underused in the movie--"We haven't seen Appa in awhile, let's throw him in this scene for no reason") she has the ability to go across the world. As for Sokka...well, he was essentially a prop. The only reason we even knew he was Sokka was because people were calling him "Sokka." Where's the sarcasm? Where's the leadership? Oh who cares? Look, special effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zuko was similarly horrifically disappointing. I really did like the idea of Dev Patel playing him, but with an already horrible script without significant character development, I didn't really care about him like I was made to in the cartoon series. My favorite part of Zuko in the show, and his uncle Iroh by extension, was how sympathetically he was portrayed. In most of the series, he's simultaneously the bad guy and a good guy. We understand him. We understand his ambitions and the motivation for those ambitions (or, rather, obsessions). Zuko and Iroh both lost something they cherished, both sticking together in their banishment, both having lost their honor in some way, and both wanting to reclaim it: Zuko by presenting his father with the Avatar, and Iroh by accepting the blessings in life, even if they aren't what he thought they should once have been. In the movie, we know how Zuko was scarred, we know Iroh lost a son, but it's not developed enough to make the viewer really feel for these characters. For mere seconds Zuko and Iroh do something "good," but that's not enough. Shyamalan did a great disservice to the cartoon by creating this movie, where plot and characterizations are just mashed together into something that takes a backseat to the special effects. Special effects, while visually stunning (when done right, and trust me, the ones in this movie were not done right) are no substitute for the audience being able to empathize with the characters, even the bad ones as the series intended.

Here are a few other complaints:

Who the fuck gave the okay on this script? Doesn't anyone know how to get these flat characters to interact with one another? Oh, guess not. See why character development is so damn important? It helps you figure out how the dialog should go. At least the series had the dialog right. There were some episodes that left me with chills, and with others I was so moved I was crying. That's how you fucking do it.
Shyamalan apparently also has no concept of distance: Zhao was able to travel back and forth to talk to Fire Lord Ozai in what seemed like short amount of time. Does Shyamalan realize it takes quite some time to travel by ship? I'm guessing no. I'm also guessing that Zhao didn't have messengers or something.
The earthbenders were disappointingly underused. In the series, their fighting style was always my favorite, and it was such a disappointment to only see them for one short scene. I know I know. This was Book One, which is Water, but still! And, again, Shyamalan clearly does not understand the series at all, because that scene depicted the earthbenders being imprisoned, not on a metal ship away from land, but in a compound full of (you guessed it) earth! That just doesn't work in that sense. In the series, the earthbenders despair because they have lost the means to bend. They do not fight because they are in a hopeless environment. In the movie, they're all "Oh, the firebenders got us. We're done..." THEY ARE SURROUNDED BY EARTH. The plausibility of their giving up just doesn't work here.
The female agency was totally removed. Central to Katara's characterization in the series is her desire to act. She's the one who initially releases the iceberg containing Aang. In the movie, it's Sokka just hitting the ice. And (back with the earthbenders) in the movie it's Aang who gives a speech to boost the spirits of the earthbenders, and they eventually start bending. In the series, it's Katara on the ship without Sokka or Aang. She tries to speak to the earthbenders, they are in despair. They do not fight. So Katara, with the help of Sokka and Aang, give the earthbenders not only the hope required to act, but also the means. They're not just sad and surrounded by earth. In the series, it actually illustrates how the earthbenders need Katara.
I know this one seems like a stretch, especially for someone who doesn't already understand characterization in humans, but Appa and Momo are also characters in the series. Significant ones. Not just CG animal props you can trot out every couple of scenes cuz OMG THE EFFECTS. Fuck.
I'm sorry, but Aasif Mandvi just wasn't badass enough to pull off a good Zhao. I mean, he has the whole douchebag thing down, but was lacking in believable ruthlessness.
This was Zuko's scar? Really? Come on.
It really didn't seem like Shyamalan understood the Avatar's world. Firebenders can bend fire without their being a fire nearby. Zuko demonstrates this by melting the ice underwater. Yet everyone shits themselves when Iroh makes "fire from nothing!" That's what a firebender is. Watching five minutes of the show would tell you that. There's no doubting that Iroh is a powerful firebender, but this was just lazy. And while I'm complaining about that inconsistency, when Katara is fighting Zuko, why didn't she just put out the fires? Because firebenders (apparently) can't firebend without it, and Zuko set fires prior to the fight which he (apparently) needed. Except firebenders don't need to do that.
SPOILER ALERT: If you want to see an amazing climactic battle at the North Pole, I recommend watching the two episodes at the end of Book One, because the battle in the series was much more dramatic, engaging, and...well, good. The movie version? Well, I'll tell you: Aang's eyes get all glowy. He waterbends a huge ass wave. But then makes it go away again after a painfully long build-up. The Fire Nation ships high-tail it out of there. Because waves that don't do anything are scary as shit. Battle over. I think I screamed "WHAT?" in the theater at this point, annoying some of my fellow audience members. But seriously. WHAT???? In the series, Aang, angry at the invasion, angry at the murdering of the moon spirit, loses control and enters the Avater state, becoming a giant water monster spirit thing and DESTROYS THE FIRE NATION INVADERS. All of them. Ships too. Oh, and meanwhile, Zuko and Zhao have an awesome fight that was omitted in the movie. Their fight is interrupted by the moonspirit seizing Zhao, and Zuko attempts to save him, but Zhao refuses to take Zuko's hand. So he dies. Not by a bunch of waterbenders, as in the horrible movie.

Basically Shyamalan took a lot of liberties with this movie. If there's going to be a trade-off in which certain things are exchanged and events are altered, those alterations should at least be good. And consistent. Like the reason Aang ran away from the air temple in the first place: in the movie it was because he didn't want to not have a family; in the series it was because he would have been taken from Monk Gyatsu, who was like a father to Aang, and would have been sent away to train as Avatar, so he ran away because he couldn't deal with losing Gyatsu and having a responsibility he never wanted. This is a much more heartfelt explanation: fear of losing a loved one rather than being denied potential loved ones. A 12-year-old kid doesn't think of the family that could never be when he has one in the present.

If I missed anything important, please let me know in the comments. Meanwhile, I'll be re-watching the series in an attempt to forget the swill that Shyamalan dared call The Last Airbender.

Presentation of gender in Toy Story 3

2010-06-25T12:41:00.000-04:00

I have previously written about Pixar's lack of developed female characters (here, here, and here). Before I dive into any sort of analysis of Toy Story 3, I am going to state what I usually do when I analyze anything people are going to get defensive about: I loved this movie; nonetheless it is still subject to criticism. My discussion of the film is not a reflection of my dislike of it, but is rather an attempt to discuss why this movie is not perfect.

As with the other Pixar films, the presentation of gender was rather disappointing. We're quickly presented with "this is what girls play with / this is what boys play with." Ken is consistently shamed on being a "girl's toy." It's played for laughs that he loves clothing, or wears Barbie's scarf. In one scene he's tortured by having to watch his clothes be ripped apart, until he finally caves.

Once again, there's a significant lack of female characters. According to this trivia page there are 302 characters in the movie. A glance through the cast list shows that a little over 30 are voiced (i.e. considered major characters). 22 (not including Spanish Buzz) are male. 12 are female. And we all know that Woody and Buzz are the main characters. Yeah, there's Jessie, but she's not in charge, and she often defers to Buzz or Woody to tell her what to do since it's understood that as Andy's favorites, they're the leaders.

Perhaps the most obnoxious bit of sexism came from how other characters treated Mrs. Potato Head. Voiced by the famously naggy Estelle Harris, Mrs. Potato Head yaps. A lot. In fact, she is the lead in the promo at the beginning of the movie advising the audience to STFU during the film. Basically, she's talking during the movie, her phone rings, she's yapping. Finally, Mr. Potato Head removes her mouth. The movie is enjoyable now.

This happens a few times in the movie as well. She's mouthing off to her captors (which I do not believe is unreasonable, since the other characters were similarly protesting their situation), and her mouth is removed. This is a manifestation of the male desire (and apparent right) to shut up nagging women. Her mouth is always removed by a male, either her husband, or one of the male adversaries. And it's supposed to be funny each time! I mean, I know she's a Potato Head, and all the parts are removable and all, but not once does Mr. Potato Head lose his mouth privileges. But a female character who dares interrupt men doing Important Things is silenced. Oh the hilarity!!!

But before I am accused of being an oversensitive "you're looking too much into it" feminist, I'll share a few of my likes of the film. One of the most touching scenes in the whole movie was of the little girl, Bonnie, playing with an assortment of toys. She is wildly imaginative: a tea party transforms into a fight against a witch, and the only option is to escape in a spaceship. SPOILER ALERT: the scene with Andy and Bonnie playing together was also really cute. I was tearing up watching the two of them play. Bonnie was really shy at first, but once Andy presented what was left of his childhood toys to her, she opened up. I loved how the focus was on her and the toys. And it didn't matter that all of those toys previously belonged to a boy, or that she was a girl playing with what is understood to be "boy toys."

And despite Ken being shamed for it, and despite it being played for laughs, I did still enjoy a male character with an unapologetic love of fashion.

And Jessie is still pretty badass. Bonus points for her being voiced by Joan Cusack..

I also liked the scenes with the toddlers. From the point of view of the toys, it was quite frightening, yet simultaneously funny because the kids are like monsters to them. I mean, they're just kids, and that's how really little kids play. But I can see how it could be doom for toys. The audience sees a toy's perspective, following the anxieties of toys. And now I feel really guilty about donating those boxes of toys last month...

RIP Rue McClanahan

2010-06-03T12:40:00.000-04:00

I've just found out that another Golden Girl has passed away. McClanahan, best known for her role as Blanche, died this morning of a stroke. She was 76.

I don't have much to add right now except that she was a talented and beautiful woman who will be deeply missed.

My condolences to the friends and family she leaves behind.

Being anti-children really isn't helping anything, you know

2010-05-17T14:41:00.002-04:00

I'd like to direct your attention to a thread over at Feministe, On Hating Kids. I'd also like to point out that the author of the post gets one thing right: that hating kids is quite ridiculous, and it hurts women too. But after that, the post fails to really make the point that children do matter, as do the women that have them. Sadly, it's only the opening paragraph that makes a good point:

Sybil at Bitch PhD is right on the money with this post — the “I hate kids” line is pretty ridiculous, and it’s unfair to expect that kids will never be allowed out in public spaces. Hostility towards children is also, in practice, largely sexist — it’s moms who largely bear the burden of caring for children; it’s moms and female care-givers who are largely stuck inside when children aren’t welcomed in public spaces; and at least in my experience, it’s moms who are disproportionately glared at if their child isn’t perfectly behaved (dads, on the other hand, are considered sweet just for taking the kid out in public).

The rest essentially reads, hating kids is bad, but...I'm single and I shouldn't have to deal with other peoples' kids, which sounds an awful lot like "I'm not racist, but" followed inevitably with something that is in fact racist.

Now I'd like to direct your attention to Renee's post, My Child Takes Up Space, which asserts that children are not burdens--they are people. She points out "What really needs to be recognized about children is that they don’t have the capacity to act in the same way that adults do." Yes, they're going to act up sometimes, and often that will be in public. It's absolutely ridiculous to hold children to the same standards of public behavior as adults, who have had the time to be socialized. Treating children as subhuman is only continuing an anti-children cycle.

I will not pretend I'm not annoyed by a child screaming in public, because I certainly am. But it happens, and its unfair to hold all children accountable, and its even worse to expect the parents to be ostracized from public activities simply because their children will occasionally behave like children.

I'm finding that many of my female peers have not only decided not to have children, but are quite anti-children. Now it is certainly their right to not have children, but there is no reason foist anti-children sentiments on women who have had children, or who plan on having children. Several of my peers have even gone so far as to mention to me that the sight of a pregnant woman annoys them. Well, that's just too damn bad. Not every woman will choose to have children, but plenty do, and being hostile to children and their parents helps no one.

I know that when I have children, I will lose touch with several of my friends who not only choose not to have children, but cannot stand it when people they know get married and have babies. I do not plan to censor my conversations because my single friends don't want to hear about my baby. Like it or not, children are people, and they mean something to their parents. Nothing can be gained by exclusion, nor by hostility towards children and mothers, who have the audacity to appear in public.

Some workplace sexism

2010-05-14T12:36:00.000-04:00

Alright ladies and gentlemen: I've got a new "everyday example of sexism" anecdote for you.

A friend and I were at work earlier this week when we were approached by one of our supervisors (for reference, this is a man who seems to shift between friendly and helpful to "ick kinda creepy" on a regular basis. He's very approachable in terms of sharing our concerns, but there are times also when my friend an I give each other "that look" and make an excuse to leave--but that's perhaps a story for another day). Anyway, he wanted to tell my friend something, but acted sort of nervous about it. My past experience told me that he wanted to compliment her (which admittedly does warrant nervousness because she's one of those people that does not take compliments well because she thinks that those complimenting her are being insincere). Finally, he gave up the attempt and told her he would tell me, and then I can tell her.

So after my friend walks away, this supervisor lowers his voice and asks, "Is she planning on leaving [boyfriend]?"

I was very confused by this question, so I replied "Not that I know of. Why?"

"I just noticed that she's been doing her make-up and hair a lot this week, and I was wondering if she was thinking of leaving [boyfriend]."

I admit it took me a few seconds to recover from this mental leap of his. All I could manage was "What? You think she's advertising early or something?"

After I told my friend about our boss' absurd assumption, I had time to think about it more. And the more I did the more I got irritated by his statement, because it was incredibly sexist. Let's break it down with a bulleted list (my favorite!):

There is an assumption that when a woman is available, she will advertise it: hair and make-up will be done. Basically she will (apparently) take pains to make herself look more attractive. This point plays into a greater narrative about our culture, in which woman who dress a certain way, or have their make-up a certain way are perceived as available. Let's stretch that just a tiny bit further...rape culture anyone?
If a woman is "unattractive" or if she doesn't take the time to look presentable, then she's already in a relationship. Or she's single and doesn't care what she looks like.
Women only wear make-up to make themselves attractive for men. Women don't wear make-up because they just feel like it, or because it's one of those things that they enjoy doing for themselves. And they most certainly do NOT make themselves attractive for other women.

Did I miss anything?

I think if I were to discuss this with the man who said it, it would be brushed off as an innocent remark. But that's how all this works. It's all so ingrained in our culture and our perception that it this sort of comment is unconsciously sexist.

As a side note, how is it any of our supervisor's business even if she were planning on breaking up with her long-term boyfriend?

Fuzz Therapy

2010-05-06T20:40:00.000-04:00

I haven't done one of these in a while, and it's certainly not for lack of Princess pictures, rather my own apathy. I should probably start writing more, lest someone mistake this for a kitty blog, but whatever.

Why yes, my kitty is quite the lady: right over left. This wasn't a lucky picture either--she sits like this quite often. Sometimes she'll even sleep with her head resting on her crossed paws. Makes me giggle every time.

Dear PlayStation--women gamers exist!! kthnx

2010-04-12T18:29:00.002-04:00

I'm sure some of you are wondering what I've been occupying my time with since my last serious post (especially given my seemingly sudden absence). Well, a lot of that time I have spent playing video games. One of those happens to be God of War III (I've already beaten it, by the way, and am playing through it again). With that in mind, I wonder if any of you can tell me what I might find offensive about the latest douchebag PS3 commercial:

Transcript:

Woman: Dear PlayStation--I know in God of War III, you're this Kratos-guy seeking vengence against the gods. But since my boyfriend got it, he's been totally ignoring me (whimpers).

Dude: (fighting Leviathan boss in God of War III): Okay, aw! Okay, hold on.

Cut to Kratos ripping jaw off leviathan.

Woman: Um...hello?

Dude: Thanks for coming.

Woman: (in disbelief) Ugh!

In this short commercial we learn:

Women are attention-seeking whiny bitches, who cannot stand when their boyfriends pay attention to anything else, least of all a video game.
Women do not play video games. They do not understand the appeal of video games. They have no idea who big name characters are because the realm of video games is incomprehensible to limited lady-brains.
Men choose women over video games. Every time. I wasn't even aware that there was a women vs. video games thing happening. Oh well.
PlayStation is still pretending that female gamers do not exist.

This commercial is particularly rage-inducing to me, as I, a woman, have not only heard of Kratos, but has played as him, and has already beaten the game in question. This commercial says that women don't play video games, and still are not even considered part of the gaming demographic.

Perhaps it's just confusing to some people, since the God of War series is as far from a traditionally feminine game as possible. Kratos is essentially raw testosterone, committing all sorts of atrocities in his quest for vengeance. It's difficult to imagine that women can find enjoyment in disemboweling centaurs, ripping enemies in half, or smashing a man's face against stone until his face is unrecognizable. But I assure you, dear readers--it is possible. It would be nice if gaming industries could remember that from time to time.

Admittedly, it may be a little creepy that I cackle maliciously as the action slows on a particularly gruesome battle, but that's another issue entirely.

crossposted.

Filthy note

2010-04-12T16:46:00.000-04:00

This is by no means a promise to be more consistent in writing here; however I'd like to let readers know that I have missed writing, and I don't want to let this blog, which I spent a significant amount of time building, be forgotten.

While I'm a bit too flighty to promise a certain amount of posts in a week, there are subjects which I'd like to write about. Plus, I sort of miss having a wider audience for discussions.

And remember--I do have an open guesting policy, so if you have something you'd like to share, feel free to email me.

Filthy note

2010-01-10T16:29:00.001-05:00

You may have noticed the lack of posts lately, so I thought I'd just let everyone know what's going on. I've been under a bit of stress lately trying to do wedding stuff, plus I needed one of those "steps back" in regards to the blogging. While it can be fulfilling work, I am often left emotionally drained, and I need the break. I'd like to give you all a time frame for when I anticipate returning to blogging, but unfortunately my brain doesn't work that way. I feel like I need a break, so I take a break, and I don't know when a sufficient break has been had until I no longer feel like I need a break.

Plus, with less than five months until the wedding, I really need to focus on that or it won't happen--and we really really want it to happen!

Some of you may continue to see me around the interwebs, and I do read all comments, even on older posts if any of you should feel like browsing.

Update: the wedding has been called off. We are no longer engaged, but we are still together. Nonetheless I will be taking an indefinite break from blogging.

Fuzz Therapy--Happy Holidays edition (and partial guest fuzz)

2009-12-21T17:37:00.000-05:00

I know I'm posting this two days early, but I'll be leaving for Michigan tomorrow, and I won't have access to my hundreds of thousands of kitty pics; and I figured some early fuzzies will do everyone some good. Also, please note that comments may be delayed in posting, since I won't be turning the moderation off. My absence will not give the trolls free reign here, and I am adamant about maintaining a respectful space. So please be patient.

To honor the holidays, I got you all a present:

Unwrap with extreme caution

I thought about actually wrapping Princess in paper, but I didn't think the paper would last long enough to snap a picture. Or I wouldn't last long enough. Either way that'd be a hell of mess to clean afterward.

And here's a bonus kitty named Tucker, provided by a commenter who sometimes goes by Cheese Sammich (lol):

I don't know what I love about Tucker most: that he looks like he dipped his face in milk, the "yes, this is my space, and yes, you are intruding upon it" look, or that his massive fuzziness is so damn tempting it hurts.

Happy holidays everyone! See you all next week.

Lazy Sunday

2009-12-20T13:40:00.001-05:00

Well, it's Sunday which means it's time for me to share my increasingly infrequent collection of links. Enjoy.

The Pain. The Pain. Liss of Shakesville discusses the horrific awfulness of Steven Seagal's new show.

"Muscle March is coming to American" or "We're afraid of being silly."   A silly game is being criticized for "being gay" despite that it's just a bunch of muscular men flexing. It illustrates how easily "gay as insult" is thrown around.

How Can We Contribute To Society If You Won't Hire Us?  Discussing how transpeople, particularly transpeople of color, face job discrimination.

Sexist Beatdown: Mystery Dream Date Edition. Totally awesome post about romantic-comedies. From the post: "Yeah, romantic comedies set up this weird alternate universe where cheating isn’t bad, and is in fact encouraged, as long as you are hopelessly in love with Other Person whom you met about 2 days ago."

A Spark of Wisdom: Why do you expect one of us to be a woman in our gay relationship?  From the post: "We don't have to ape a straight couple to be acceptable or understandable. One of us doesn't have to pretend to be a woman for our relationship to work or be comprehended (and not even a real woman! Some 1950s Suzy Homemaker that I don't think has ever existed!) These questions ask us to conform, they say that if we're gay we should at least mimic heterosexuals as much as possible."

Hope everyone else is having a lazy Sunday!

Hell, I wouldn't mind some hot sex for MY birthday

2009-12-18T20:16:00.001-05:00

I was talking to my friend at work about presents we were planning on getting our male significant others for xmas, when she suggested "Just give him sex."

And this got me thinking: why is it that every time I talk to a woman about what to get my fiance for a gift, they suggest sex? Do men in heterosexual relationships encounter this when discussing what to buy their girlfriends or wives? Do men ever suggest to other men to give sex to their girlfriends or wives? Does anyone make this suggestion to men and women in homosexual relationships, or is this strictly a heterosexual thing?

I just wonder about these things because within this one suggestion comes several assumptions: that men want sex, women withhold sex, and women should at least give sex to men on special occasions. There is also this assumption that women don't enjoy sex (or at least shouldn't admit to liking it, or else they're filthy filthy sluts. Or something.).

It also makes it sound like a chore for us ladies. If it's a gift to the man, then it's almost like the woman is an object (sound familiar?); it's not about her beyond the scope of her parts. It makes it only about getting the man off instead of creating an equal exchange of pleasure.

This only reinforces that sex is all about the man, that since women don't like sex anyway (or aren't supposed to) there is no need for reciprocation on the man's part. It's her job right?

But many women enjoy sex, have sex, and, believe it or not, initiate sex (that's right; we don't wait around for a man to coerce us into "putting out.").

And I'm sure I'm not the only woman who wouldn't mind getting sex on her birthday...

Thoughts?

crossposted

Random not-so late (not drunk) post--Jack Frost or Jack Frost?

2009-12-17T21:52:00.000-05:00

I was just channel surfing, and noticed that Jack Frost is on. You know, that cute movie with Michael Keaton where his character dies and comes back as a snowman? Well, it reminded me of the time that DaddyGrandeur aka "weekday dad" went out to rent us Jack Frost so we could watch it as a family. Well, there are two movies (a few actually, but whatever) by that name. I think I was 12 or 13 at the time, when the Michael Keaton version had just been released on video.

We all hunkered down to watch (what we thought was) a cute family movie. So you can imagine my confusion when this happened [trigger warning for B-movie violence]:

I mean, even at that age I found it so ridiculous it was funny. And of course there's all kinds of plot-holes which add to the ridiculousness. But I think it was ten minutes into the movie when we all realized that Daddy Grandeur had made a mistake.

And now, thinking back on it, I'm wondering about DaddyGrandeur's error in movie rental. I mean, just look at the cover:

Chillin' and killin'?

That's some awesome family-friendly entertainment! Oh well. Turns out this version is even more funny than the one that was actually trying to be funny. And it's one more thing we can tease DaddyGrandeur about.

Fuzz Therapy

2009-12-16T21:22:00.000-05:00

Well, it's Wednesday again. Which means you get your fuzzy-goodness. I'm glad to report that Princess has been extra cuddly lately, ambushing my lap before I've even settled myself on the couch; however, this may have something to do with how fucking cold we both are. I welcome the affection and the extra warmth, though I could do without the warning bites. I mean, she's on my damn lap--I should be able to pet her. Her use of my body as furniture ain't free. And it is more than a little annoying that she insists on claiming my lap when I'm busy--like how she wanted to sit on my lap when it was already occupied by the afghan I was trying to finish. I had to finish the last row with it pinned under her cute ass.

Well, enjoy the rest of your Wednesday everyone. Friday will be here soon--I am excited too because I actually have a real weekend. For a brief moment it will seem as if I have a normal job. Retail just sucks so bad this time of year. My demand for fuzz is increasing.

Responses from Target and McDonald's

2009-12-16T20:48:00.000-05:00

You may remember my recent posts on Target calling the police on a nursing mother and the discrimination of a transgender woman at McDonald's when she applied for a job. I sent my angry emails, and thought I would share the responses I got.
The following is the response from Target:

Dear [FilthyGrandeur],

As a family-oriented retailer, Target has a long-standing practice that supports breastfeeding in our stores.

Target has a long-standing corporate policy that supports breastfeeding in our stores. Guests who choose to breastfeed in public areas of the store are welcome to do so without being made to feel uncomfortable. Additionally, we support the use of fitting rooms for women who wish to breastfeed their babies, even if others are waiting to use the fitting rooms.

We regret that the situation escalated and have apologized to the guest for her experience. To ensure nursing mothers feel welcome in our stores we are reinforcing our breastfeeding policy with our team in all 1,744 storesacross the country.

At Target, we work hard to provide you with an enjoyable shoppingexperience. If you ever have concerns during your visit, please visit the Guest Service Desk and ask to speak to the Guest Service Team Leader. They'll make every attempt to resolve the issue while you're in the store.

We appreciate the opportunity to share this information with you.

Sincerely,

Garry

And the following is the response from McDonald's:

Hello [FilthyGrandeur]:

Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald's and for giving us an opportunity to provide you with the following information.

Please know that McDonald's has a strict policy prohibiting any form of discrimination or harassment in hiring, termination, or any other aspect of employment in the organization. We require all employees to comply with local, state and federal employment laws.

Upon learning about this matter, the restaurant investigated the claims to gather the facts, and action was taken consistent with their employment policies.The behavior of the individual in question is not reflective of McDonald's employment policies.

Further, this individual acted outside the scope of his authority and was not responsible for hiring. The individual in question is no longer employed by the restaurant.

Again, thank you for contacting McDonald's.

Megan

McDonald's Customer Response Center

In regards to the Target situation, I work for Target. I have not heard this "reinforcement" at my store. I don't know. Maybe I missed it. But one would think that if this was really something that Target wished to reinforce, they would have made sure that every employee is made aware of Target's policies. But that's just me.

Every "guest" should be allowed to breastfeed in the store without being made uncomfortable--except that the discomfort of one employee was apparently more important than the concern for the breastfeeding mother--she endured unnecessary discomfort and embarrassment when the police arrived. But, you know. It "escalated." Or something.

As for the McDonald's response, I'm glad to know that the manager has been fired. However, I find it all kinds of interesting that the response doesn't mention the trans woman who was the victim of the discrimination (and harassment--let's not forget the voicemail!). I mean, yeah, it's great that the asshole was fired, and that there are laws and policies which McDonald's adheres to, but that doesn't mean a whole lot to the person who nonetheless had to face the hate and transphobia when applying for a job. It still happened.

McDonald's and Target can invoke and cite their precious policies all they want, but these events occurred to actual people with actual lives and actual feelings, and sometimes policies don't mean a damn thing if the employees don't know about them.

Now, I realize that these companies cannot possibly guarantee that every one of their employees won't act like asshats at some point or other. But I guess I'm still expecting more.

I am impressed that I got responses at all, but without substantial actions (or even a mention of the victims in either situation) it's just a lot of nonsense about vague and apparently magical policies.

Happy filthy birthday to me!

2009-12-14T18:21:00.000-05:00

So today I am 24! I give MommyGrandeur a lot of credit for having a baby so close to xmas, although I hope I provided a good enough reason to excuse her from having to shop (though she was still married to "weekend" dad, so I doubt it).

I celebrated with some friends on Saturday, so tonight I'm taking it easy (I really don't need to keep reacquainting myself with the toilet anyway).

As for the limited amount of postings, I apologize. I've been distracted again with wedding plans, xmas shopping, and work. But I haven't abandoned the blogging world.

Time to go wrap presents in the Batman wrapping paper I picked out (hey, everyone's just lucky I couldn't find Spongebob. And it's better than the newspaper I've been using previously). Enjoy a beer in my honor! :)

Fuzz Therapy

2009-12-09T18:40:00.001-05:00

Since today's a rotten winter day (at least here in the Midwest, thanks stupid snowstorm!), here's Princess to help you keep warm toasty thoughts:

I want the warm now!

Transgender woman denied McDonald's job; anti-gay slur used

2009-12-07T17:40:00.000-05:00

This is just appalling:

Seventeen-year-old Zikerria Bellamy applied online for a position as a shift manager or crew leader at an Orlando McDonald's. When she went in for the interview on July 28, Bellamy says a manager forced her to check a box indicating her gender.

[...]

She said she was told she would not be granted an interview and received an angry, hateful voicemail from the manager later in the day.

"You went to [indistinguishable] McDonald's today," the message says. "It doesn't matter how many times you go down there. You will not get hired. We do not hire faggots. You lied to me. You told me you was a woman. And then you lied to me. You told me you were seventeen. I can't believe you. You're a lying brother. How could you ever lie to me?"

How is it any business of that man's? This woman is presenting and identifies as a women, therefore she is a woman. His calling her a man and using an anti-gay slur is unutterably disrespectful. He had no business leaving her a hateful message on her voicemail. So add harassment to the strikes against this guy.

Given that this is not the first time a McDonald's employee has discriminated against potential employees, or customers. You would think that McDonald's would do something about the bigots they employ so that this discrimination does not continue to happen.

You can fill out this form to let them know that gender discrimination is against the law, and it's unacceptable for McDonald's to condone this bigotry from their employees.

I certainly hope this man is no longer employed there, but I might be hoping for too much here.

H/T sexgenderbody via Twitter

Filthy note

2009-12-07T00:23:00.001-05:00

Okay, I've got a new template up. Basically I was having major coding issues with the previous one, so I've simplified the look here.

Hopefully this change makes it easier for me to post (especially since with the previous template I was spending more time trying to override default settings, especially in regards to text color). And hopefully it makes it easier on the eyes. I want my readership to have comfortable access to this blog without adding to the risk of eye fatigue.

I am open to hearing any feedback, either in the comments or by email, but unless you have major concerns just know I probably won't change anything. I'm really sick of fixing html codes, particularly because I'm not very good at it. As long as "o filthy grandeur!" looks decent and serves its basic function to hold my rants, I'm happy.

Update: Okay, so I scrapped the yellowy background for a simpler (and hopefully easy on the eyes) white background with flowers. The flowers will be referred to as "evil" to continue to appease Mr. Baudelaire.

Target calls police on nursing mother

2009-12-06T22:05:00.006-05:00

I am very ashamed to say I work for Target right now:

HARPER WOODS, Mich. (myFOXDetroit.com) - Jose and Mary Martinez visited a Target store in Harper Woods on Sunday. The mother says she started breast-feeding her child, security said it was illegal, they disagreed, and then the cops were called.

She's a mother of three. The youngest, her four-week-old girl, Raka. Breast-feeding is a daily part of life whether at home or at the store. That's why Mary Martinez was surprised to be stopped at the Target store. She and her husband told this by security: "He said, 'It's against the law. You have to go,'" said Jose Martinez.

Jose, a Detroit police officer, knew it isn't against the law even in the electronics aisle at Target. The couple say it wasn't crowded in that section at the time.
[...]
FOX 2 contacted Target's corporate headquarters. They tell us they allow mothers to breast-feed in their stores. But, "This specific situation escalated to a point where we were concerned for the safety of our guests, so law enforcement was called. We regret the incident in our store and will continue to provide a shopping environment that respects the needs of all guests, including nursing mothers."
"Forcing me out of the store. Two security guards, the manager or team leader, two officers, they just made a spectacle and a scene. I feel like I can't go to that specific Target anymore," Mary Martinez said.
In addition to talking with the corporate management at Target, we spoke to the manager of the Harper Woods store. She says breast-feeding is certainly not discouraged inside of her store.

I wonder if the "concern" for the safety of the other guests had anything to do with the couple's ethnicity.

You can email your complaint using this form. I think Target needs to remind it's employees that it's not illegal for mothers to nurse in public, and shaming their customers is absolutely unacceptable.

Lazy Sunday

2009-12-06T10:57:00.001-05:00

Hosted by the Canadian geese who decided to use the park across the street for a pit-stop.

Morning all! I'm up earlier than normal for a Sunday, mostly due to the return of my seasonal sore-throats (and unfortunately the humidifier isn't helping).

Here are your weekly links:

Romance and sexuality in Harry Potter: this comes highly recommended. It's the best analysis of the Harry Potter relationships I have seen. It discusses gender roles, the notion of "true love," the unimportance of female roles (unless it pertains to motherhood), etc.

Plus Size Glamour Models, But Who's Missing? Yes the women are all larger than your "standard" model, but they still fail to represent the variety of women's bodies that actually exist. And including only one Black is not a good attempt at inclusion.

Casting White Actors in Asian Roles: 1957 to Today: Sadly, there's a long history of white-washing Asian roles in movies.

Plate Mail Bikini: A great post about how World of Warcraft's battle attire isn't as gender-neutral as one might think (from Border House, a feminist gaming blog, which I highly recommend adding to your blogroll).

And, just for fun: New Moon in Lolcats. I've read it nearly ten times and each times it's still hilarious. This may also save you from wasting money on the movie. You're welcome.

Random late-night drunk post

2009-12-05T23:54:00.000-05:00

So, a beer suddenly materialized in front of me, and I realized that I haven't had a random drunk post in a while.

There's not much going on. So I'll brag about the birthday / anniversary / xmas present I got: my Kindle. (FYI: all three events are in the same month, so I sometimes pick one big thing to make it easier on the fiance). My Kindle is amazing. It will certainly increase my reading productivity, which means you can all expect more book reviews in the future since I have instant access to just about anything I want. I mainly read Science Fiction and Fantasy, but I'll take suggestions in any genre, if you have them.

I am currently reading Sara Douglass' Druid's Sword, which is the last book in The Troy Game series, although the continuing rape apologism almost makes me want to delete it from my device. I'm plowing through it though, and after that I won't have to read her books again (well, until the next book of the Darkglass Mountain series comes out, and then I'll complain about that).

And just so we're all clear: I'm bah-humbugging my way through this month. I blame it on the retail job. The little Christmas spirit I had was crushed when we put up Christmas displays before Halloween. Although I'm looking forward to spending time with the fiance and his family, I can't say the same for my side, by which I mean my bio dad's side. I'm sure there will be a post about this after the holidays.

I'll challenge myself to post some links I've been collecting when I drag myself out of bed. In the meantime, hope everyone is having a great Saturday night. Have a cold one on me. :)

News flash: Seth MacFarlane sucks

2009-12-03T18:00:00.003-05:00

Now, before any of you fanatics of Seth MacFarlane's monopolization on the adult cartoon front wish to attack me or tell me I'm being too sensitive: this post is about why Seth MacFarlane sucks on a very basic level. All isms aside (which include but are not limited to sexism, misogyny, racism, homophobia, transphobia, slut-shaming, and fat-hating), MacFarlane's shows just suck.

Why, do you ask?

Because his comedy has just about run its course. He's officially out of jokes, and you dudebros are hailing it as some extradinary work of comedy.

Um. No.

If 10 minutes of a given MacFarlane show episode isn't being spent on some character engaging in mindless noise making or repetitive fight scenes, then you can bet that those ten minutes are being used for some other exponentially obnoxious scene.

And even the "edgy" humor is nothing special. Hahaha domestic violence. Oh man that racism sure is (not) fresh. Fat people are totes gross? Nice job utilizing gay stereotypes. Note: there's absolutely nothing original about relying on stereotypes for jokes. Can anyone say "cliche?"

It goes on. So go ahead: tell me about how Seth MacFarlane is a comedic genius. Just know that it's all bullshit. You douchebags eat up the same fucking jokes (and not just on Family Guy--Cleveland show too--except with Black people!!) and have the temerity to say it's original? In what way, exactly?

I am expecting a slew of MacFarlane defenders. Just know that this thread will be heavily moderated. Just because I'm criticizing a beloved (HA!) t.v. show doesn't mean I'm giving bigots a free reign on what's posted here--and don't bother giving me that free speech bullshit, because that's not gonna fly here (hate speech ≠ free speech).

P.S. Anyone else notice how lovers of Family Guy will often measure it's supposed awesomeness by comparing it to The Simpsons? What the hell is up with that??

Dragon Age features "controversial" gay sex

2009-12-03T16:00:00.002-05:00

Some of you may have already heard about the "controversy" (this term being used loosely, since I fail to see how the depiction of an actual sexuality can be controversial on the mere fact that it exists) of the new game Dragon Age: Origins, which features a human and an elf getting it on in a totally optional scene depicting homosexual sex:

The potential gay relationship happens with Zevran, an elf who was born in a brothel and rose to prominence as a thief/assassin. While the love scene sounds like something that could air on broadcast TV, I can't think of a role-playing game that has depicted gay male sexuality to this degree — Jade Empire panned away from its gay kiss, Bully's Jimmy Hopkins wasn't interested in much more than kissing and while Fable let gay couples marry, any sex to happen in that marriage was blacked out.

Unfortunately, Zevran hits a number of stereotypes as well. For one thing, Zevran isn't interested in anything more than casual sex while heterosexual romantic interests are direct about wanting a monogamous, long-term relationship. Meanwhile, isn't a gay elf the fantasy equivalent of a gay hairdresser?

While I'm excited about the inclusivity, I'm more than a little disturbed by this:

In another part of the game, your character can get a bit more adventurous:

During the course of the game, players are able to visit a brothel where a hostess asks what they are interested in. If players select "Surprise me," they can sometimes wind up face-to-face with a woman, a man, a transsexual, or an animal; sexual activity is never depicted during these brothel encounters.

Joy. I know the designers are just trying to keep the mood light, but considering that gay relationships are constantly being compared to sex with animals, maybe I'm just a little touchy about it. There is a Mabari War Dog that appears to be a member of the party, maybe I'll just assume that even fantasy pets need release now and then.

But while us progressives are hailing the inclusion of homosexuality (if not the accompanying stereotypes and option to also have sex with animals) as challenging the unfortunate standard of heterosexuality, some anti-gay bloggers (whom I refuse to link to, but you can check out more on this at Border House) are (surprise) furious about the inclusion of homosexual relationships. To which I say "get the fuck over it." This sounds a lot like the homophobic "I'm okay with people being gay, but I don't want to have to look at it." And then we have homophobia as comedy, where Jimmy Kimmel (and his audience) thinks "gay elf sex" is totally giggle-worthy.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to commandeer Dragon Age from the fiance.

crossposted

Fuzz Therapy

2009-12-02T18:13:00.001-05:00

Happy Wednesday everyone. I'm going to keep this one short because my amazing new KINDLE came in the mail today, and we all know I need another distraction for my flighty brain. Take it, Princess:

This was totally by accident. And no, those aren't wedding magazines on the floor. I swear.

Happy Thanksgiving my American readership!

2009-11-26T20:06:00.000-05:00

And happy plain ol' Thursday to everyone else.

So I have officially spent the morning cooking so that my fiance and I can begin eating in the early afternoon. And we've been eating basically all day, waiting for a bit more room between each serving. And while the pie cools and the fiance does the dishes like a wonderful partner returning the favor to the chef, I have sought out my favorite comedian's Thanksgiving clips (yeah, this is all you're getting from me--the itis is setting in, so enjoy!).

Fuzz Therapy

2009-11-25T19:27:00.001-05:00

Happy Wednesday everyone (and a happy Thanksgiving eve to my American readers). Some of you have noticed a new update on the comments pop-up, so as a reminder: the comments policy will be strictly enforced. I welcome discussions and disagreements on any thread, provided they are respectful. Silencing vitriol will not be tolerated, nor will any -ism, homophobia, transphobia, or misogyny. And due to the large and confusing number of Anonymous comments, I will follow the example set by macon d and assign names to those comments. Of my choosing. So either pick a name or deal with whatever I dream up for you.

But back to the fuzz (sorry, no turkey hat for the Princess. Maybe next year).

I will eat your soul.

I'd also like to remind you all that you can submit some of your own fuzziness to be featured here. Please consult my submission guidelines, and send pictures to me at filthygrandeur@yahoo.com.

I wanna see you strut, Adam

2009-11-23T16:21:00.002-05:00

My co-worker described to me Lambert's performance at last night's AMA (which I had not seen because...well, I am miserably uninformed I guess), mentioning his nails, make-up, and hair. And, most importantly, that he kissed a man on stage. My immediate and unquenchable response was "OMG, and I missed it??"

Now, I must interject a moment with a little personal info on myself: I identify as a straight woman. That being said, I still find it extremely attractive when two men kiss (hell, if straight men find two women kissing hot, why can't I with the opposite?). And I'm not shy about it. In fact, I often blurt this out at any remote mention of homosexuality. In a way I suppose I'm trying to help fight the heteronormative notions of sexuality, especially those concerning how the public views celebrities. I mean, it's pretty damn shitty that straight people can be affectionate in public, but we expect homosexual people to keep it out of our sight. How the hell is that fair? But at the same time I recognize that I'm objectifying gay men in a way that straight men have objectified lesbians into a straight male fantasy.

At any rate, my co-worker reacted in much the same way as most people do when I divulge this bit of information (to date, the only exceptions I have known were the awesome friends I made in college--you all know who you are), and she said "You like that?" She then went on "I don't mind that he's gay, but I don't need to see all that."

This is nothing new. Straight people who purportedly have nothing against homosexuality--provided that they don't have to look at them being gay and whatnot--have been saying just that, and similar "I don't hate gay people but..." followed by "I don't want to have to look at it / they better not hit on me / etc." and other similar bigotries. And I do think that they think they're not homophobic--heck, some of them love out and proud celebrities. But I also think that the lack of self-examination regarding their own discomfort when confronted with homosexual people (specifically gay men) being unabashedly sexual with the people they're attracted to is quite evident of a heteronormative culture. Yet rather than question this discomfort, we're more content to pressure homosexual men and women into not being "too gay" so us straights don't feel all icky. Or something.

My co-worker also mentioned Adam Lambert's album cover, and his make-up, saying that she wished "he'd tone it down." She said that it seems like after American Idol, he's just gotten more gay (I know I know--she's pretty damn ignorant, but she's willing to listen to my lectures, and she just inspired a post for me. And what she's saying is not exclusive to just her, but our culture as well). Which sort of ignores the fact that straight men have been wearing make-up long before Adam came to gay it up (ugh, I am so sorry I just had to type that), and also is presumptuous given that there are plenty of gay men that don't wear make-up.

I pointed out to her that Adam was pressured to keep his sexuality hushed while he was still a contestant on AI, and it's only now that his season (yes, his, damn it!) is over is he able to be the performer he wants to be. And I find it pretty damn offensive that in the year 2009 we applaud a gay man for having such immense talent, and applaud straight male performers for objectifying women on stage, or being highly sexual with women on stage as if they're nothing more than props, but when we see the same gay man being sexual with anything but the prescripted woman, the homophobia comes out.

So, fellow straight people: you can't say you support gay rights, or gay people in general, or that you don't hate gay people, and simultaneously cite your own disgust as reason for them to not engage in sexual behavior befitting the sexuality in which they identify. Get the fuck over it.

No one loses their damn mind as we're constantly bombarded with images of straight sexuality. Open any magazine and you see ads, articles, an array of images that reinforce a heterosexual norm. Heterosexual relationships are constantly viewed as standard, and anything else is deviant. If we were to view Adam's very same performance and replace all male dancers with women, these people wouldn't even be complaining.

But I suppose there's something that straight people find threatening in Adam that they've not had to face before: not only is Adam Lambert gay, but his lyrics lack the ambiguity straight people might feel safer listening to. We know the "you" in his songs is not a woman. And any "body" that Adam sings about desiring isn't going to be that of a woman. Hell, "Fever" begins "There he goes, My baby walks so slow," giving a definitive gender to his sung love-interests. And as his album gets more attention, it will only be a matter of time before we start hearing the homophobic panic about a gay man openly singing about loving other gay men (omg, the horror!).

Adam Lambert is in a sudden, strange position right now. It really just sucks that in order for him to be himself, he's going to be criticized by uncomfortable straight people. And he's going to be blasted by critical gay men, too. Oh, wait, he already is. But gay or straight, I think it's pretty shitty that anyone is asking Adam Lambert to compromise himself so the rest of us can be comfortable with him.

But maybe if he makes them all uncomfortable enough, some of them will start to question why that is.

crossposted

Lazy Sunday

2009-11-22T17:19:00.000-05:00

Hosted by Whoopi, who is apparently trying to flip herself over.

So I am running on approximately 2 hrs sleep. Enjoy your links.

"I'm for gay rights, but..." Some awesome and thoughtful responses to anti-gay sentiments.

In Defense of "Douchebag": "Douches, and the bags that reportedly accompany them, are terrible, no-good products. Insulting douches doesn’t insult women — the existence of douches insults women." Amen.

On Carrie Prejean: "So what difference does it make, in terms of Prejean's bigotry, that she has a sexual life of her own? None. Because denying fellow citizens equal rights is wrong no matter what.
She was wrong when she said it before anyone knew she had a "sex tape," and she's wrong now. The existence of a "sex tape" doesn't somehow make her more wrong."

What These People Need Is a Honky: this would be hilarious if it wasn't oh so true...

The Edward Cullen Underpants Conundrum: there is just so much win in this post that I cannot possibly choose a favorite quote.

James Cameron's Avatar: Watch Some -isms This December! Let's see: "noble savages," crip drag, blueface. Did Cameron leave anyone out?

Presentations of violence and gender in the Twilight novels

2009-11-19T19:06:00.001-05:00

Note: While I do not give a full plot summary, some of the analysis may touch on topics that reveal the plot. Also, I embrace "the author is dead" perspective, since I do not know anything about the author or her motives. This analysis is strictly an analysis of the novel in question, and is not a criticism of the author, though I do criticize the author's writing, which I consider to be two different things.

I recently finished Stephanie Meyer's vampire romance, Twilight. While it wasn't the most fantastic novel (certainly it took a lot of reading before reaching anything remotely climactic), it wasn't all that horrible. But it wasn't all that good, either. I didn't have high expectations for a romance novel as it was (admittedly I have read few, not having acquired a taste for the genre--yeah, studying literature makes you elitist. I'm no exception). This post will examine gender roles and gender presentations in the novel, as well as other problematic themes.

I. Gendering Monsters

In Twilight, we are introduced to the world of vampires. From the moment we meet the Cullens, we are made aware through Bella's eyes that they are special:

I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful (11).

Though all of the Cullens are stunningly attractive, there's a clear gendered difference in their appearances. The men are large, and strong, while the women are small and graceful. Though the women are also impeccably strong, they do not look it. Several times Alice is referred to as being lithe and graceful in her movements:

Alice reached for Emmett's hand and they darted toward the oversized field; she ran like a gazelle. He was nearly as graceful and just as fast--yet Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle.
[...]
[Edward's] run was more aggressive, a cheetah rather than a gazelle (192).

The males are not only less graceful, but more aggressive. The exchange between Edward and James when James first catches Bella's scent is a prime example, complete with "feral snarl," "bared teeth," and "aggressive poses" (197). The females, all of whom obviously feed at some point, are not depicted as so aggressive even though they are (presumably) just as strong and capable as the males. Even Victoria, who in later books hunts Bella out of revenge (posing an obvious aggressive threat), is described in more traditionally feminine terms:

[Victoria] was wilder, her eyes shifting restlessly between the men facing her, and the loose grouping around me, her chaotic hair quivering in the slight breeze. Her posture was distinctly feline (196).

We are presented with clear-cut male and female roles. Within the Cullen family there even seems to be a hierarchy, with Carlisle being presented as the head of the vampire family. And even Esme, who's presented as the mother figure for the Cullens, seems to be ranked below Edward, though this is perhaps a combination of gendered leadership and seniority, since Carlisle created Edward prior to creating Esme. We also have the whole creation of vampires. In the case of most of the Cullens, Carlisle created them, yet it seems that it's in a godlike sort of way rather than a full embrace of the father identity.

II. Violence is romance

If I were to ever read this book again (I won't) I would count how many times Edward tells Bella he's dangerous, or outright threatens her. It's deeply disturbing to me that the stalking, the death threats, and the constant mentioning of Bella as food is somehow supposed to be romantic. I suppose this is just another product of our rape culture, where we inextricably link sex and violence, and the threat of violence is somehow supposed to be endearing.

There's also the vast power disparity, which is also a threat. In the meadow, Edward demonstrates his strength as further evidence of why Bella should be frightened. This creates an obvious illustration of Bella's fragility: in any given moment Edward could accidentally crush her.

Bella is willing to accept the constant threat of Edward's presence, and even goes so far as to blame herself for tempting Edward to kill her. In Twilight Bella even goes well out of her way to not implicate Edward should he kill her--and she willingly walks to her possible death.

There are several instances where Edward is committing criminal acts: watching Bella sleep (breaking and entering), stalking her, obsessing over her to the point where he views her as a possession. All of which is filtered to us through Bella, who finds this type of attention flattering and romantic. These are highly problematic, once again driving the point that romance irrevocably involves fear and violence (or at least the constant threat of violence).

These issues are also evident in the later books: hyper aggression in the male characters, Bella's inferiority and apparently fragile nature, traditional gender presentations for the female characters. Women are consistently presented as a hindrance to the male characters (think of Leah, who seems to be this unwanted burden on the rest of the male pack in Eclipse).

This is all worsened when we think of this in hindsight--yeah, it's great that he followed her all those times. I mean, think of how she would have been smooshed or raped or murdered, and if he hadn't followed her he couldn't have rescued her. At one point he even forces her into his car when she tells him to leave her alone. But later, she resolves to tell him to leave her alone and "mean it this time" (71), which effectively negates any previous sincerity, which in turn adds to the stereotype of women not saying what they mean, which is often twisted into an argument of a gray area concerning consent. Yeah, it's all connected, okay?

III. Likes

Before anyone accuses me of being an angry feminist who finds joy in nothing, I will admit to some likes:

Bella is an awkward and clumsy teenager. I can relate to that!
It's a decent enough story. Unfortunately Stephanie Meyer isn't a great enough writer to make it more than decent.
Bella's brief feminist moment: in Twilight she mentions writing a paper on female gender roles in Shakespeare's plays. I really really wish there was more of this more.
Oh, at the end she mentions something about needing equality in relationships. Thank you!!!
I did find it hilariously absurd whenever Jacob warned Bella (or whoever) not to make him anger. LOL! JACOB SMASH!
Bella's dad's name is Charlie (which is pretty similar to Charles, who stares at you every time you visit this site--yes, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel here. It's not a great literary work. What the fuck do you want from me?)

Miscellaneous Complaints:

Jacob was likable up until he turned werewolf. He was happy and sweet to Bella. For a time I was rooting for him because Bella could have been with a great guy. Then he got all hairy, aggressive, and just as possessive as Edward. Which means she then had a choice between Douchebag 1 and Douchebag 2. And Jacob was actually worse in my mind because it seemed like he thought he deserved Bella, like she owed him something, which is totally creepy. And the forced kiss between her and Jacob clearly lacks consent (and her father laughed and was all cool with it. You can bet if I went home with the same scenario, Mommy and DaddyGrandeur would be kicking someone's ass--hint: not mine).
After Jacob's monsterization, so-to-speak, any description of Edward and Jacob is entwined in aggression. Their issues with anger become so central to their characterizations, it's disturbing.
Bella's hearing Edward's voice scolding her like some errant child in New Moon. God, even when he's not there his hold over her is totally creepy. And she willingly (again) put herself in danger just to hear that voice--and relished the imagined anger.
Stephanie Meyer's writing is...lacking. Had she not tapped into a provocative premise (human girl falls in love with a vampire--sounds pretty sweet) she probably would never have had anything published. Her writing is pretty substandard. I mean, does she really have to have a character say the book's title in every fucking book? If you have to have your characters explicitly state the name of the book, it kind of kills whatever metaphor you think you were going for (which speaks volumes of the anticipated thinking capacity of the intended audience). Speaking of metaphors, did anyone else want to do a *headdesk* every time Bella mentioned the damn "hole" in her chest in New Moon? Okay, we fucking get it--you got dumped, it hurts. Think of some other way to describe that pain. Fuck.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, that's all I got. But here are some other fun Twilight links. If anyone else has written or come across any other good Twilight links, analyses, open threads, etc., drop them in the comments.

Bloody Conclusions

Edward Cullen, Face Of Girl Power: On the Girliness Of Pop, And Why It Matters

Third Twilight Flick to be Guy-Friendly (okay, not so fun in terms of it's failtastic assumption that women don't get into action and men can't find joy in romance, but every now and then we gotta add logs to our fires, right?).

Works Cited:

Meyer, Stephanie. Twilight. New York: Little Brown and Company, 2005.

crossposted

17 years ago today...

2009-11-19T15:28:00.000-05:00

Mommy and DaddyGrandeur ran off to a judge in Ohio to get married immediately after my biological dad signed the divorce papers. Later that day, when family caught wind of the marriage, a sudden celebration party was held at our house. My brother and I were dropped off by bio-dad, whereupon a tumultuous "What the fuck?" resounded from his mouth as his gaze met the "Just married" sign displayed in the bay window.

Afterward, cake was served with kitty tracks marring the icing, as our large black cat--thrilled by the merry-making--had bounded onto the counter, only to land in the giant sheet of moist deliciousness.

Because my mom decided to divorce my dad, seeking the happiness she rightly deserves (and thus removing an angry and abusive man from our home) my brother and I got an awesome stepdad (jokingly referred to as "weekday dad").

So, to my parents: congratulations on your many years of happiness in your strong, hard-earned relationship. And thank you for setting an example of how to love and respect your partner, even though you may not always agree on something. Here's to many more years of happiness for you both.

Fuzz Therapy

2009-11-18T19:13:00.001-05:00

Sorry about the lack of posts (again). I'm taking a sort of indefinite break from blogging (though some of you may see me commenting around the interwebs). Anyway, enjoy your fuzz!

Take that Fox News

2009-11-11T22:24:00.003-05:00

You know, I don't think I even have to add commentary on this one.

Update: Couldn't find the youtube clip, but hopefully everyone can view the Comedy Central clip. I've also included Sean Hannity's half-assed apology at the end.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Sean Hannity Uses Glenn Beck's Protest Footage

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

I'm calling bullshit on that. How does one "inadvertently" queue up two completely different video clips?

Lazy Sunday Wednesday

2009-11-11T19:24:00.000-05:00

I realize I haven't been posting very often lately, including my usual link round-up, so here's some middle of the week links I've been collecting. I'm posting these now because Sunday I'll be out of town away from the computer (will I ever survive???)

"What If My Mother Had Aborted Me?" From the post: "But let’s deal with the attempt to get around women’s basic human rights by appealing to the egotistical assumption that your own birth was inevitable, and that the only thing that could have threatened this inevitable trot to you existing was the legality of abortion. “How would you like it if your mother had an abortion?” ask the anti-choicers, without realizing that’s like asking, “How would you like it if the night you were conceived, your dad decided to go to bed early while your mom stayed up to watch Johnny Carson?” The answer is, you wouldn’t be here to regret their selfish actions in the abortion or late show department."

Staggering Display of Privilege: "I was going over the afternoon again with him when I realized; not only did this man's comment in class completely nullify my experiences as a woman, as a person, living in this world and its rape culture and its constant media portrayals of sex and violence and the very objectification I was talking about, it nullifies those of every other woman, of every other person, who HAS experienced it." Yeah, because we women always need some smart man to tell it like ~~it is~~ he thinks it is.

Obama Refuses to Stand Up for Women: We're getting pretty sick of this shit already.

My Friend Called to Say She Was Raped: I still cannot get this out of my head. Heavy trigger warning. Please offer Renee all the good thoughts you can.

Fuzz Therapy--Guest Fuzz

2009-11-11T18:50:00.000-05:00

What's up everyone? It's Wednesday which means you are all treated to some fuzzy goodness! Some of you may recall last month Mommy and DaddyGrandeur lost one of their doggies. Well, a few days ago, MommyGrandeur says she went to a stranger's house and got Lucky (totally her words!):

This is not the first time MommyGrandeur got a dog from a stranger. I swear I'm meeting the wrong kind of people. No one gives me a doggy.

The really good news is that Precious and Rascal have already gotten attached to the newest member of the family. Though Precious is not so willing to share her toys with him--MommyGrandeur reports she's started hiding them (I am begging for photographic evidence of this!).

More cute reasons for me to visit. Now I just need some money for airfare.

Revisited: Review of Pixar's Up

2009-11-10T16:41:00.000-05:00

To celebrate the release of Up on dvd, I am sharing my review of the movie, which was originally published here.

SPOILER ALERT

I saw Up yesterday, and, of course, loved it, as I knew I would. Everything about it--the fantastic premise of a man tying balloons to his house to travel to South America; the sense of adventure; the cute little chubby kid; the goofy dog who becomes pack-leader--EVERYTHING.

I felt the story of Carl, especially, was wonderfully portrayed. There are happy times with him and his wife Ellie, but there is the usual life's disappointments, such as having to put off a long-awaited trip to pay bills. And then there is the sad scene where they find out they're unable to have children. I was choking up when Carl bought the tickets to South America, but then Ellie dies before they can go on their trip. I found it quite touching that Carl was so devoted to her that he fulfills his promise no matter what. Carl's character is wonderfully portrayed, and we sympathize with him as he tries to maintain hold over his house and self--even as there is pressure to enter an old folks' home.

And then you have Russell, the adorable scout (I believe he's Asian--though thankfully not stereotypically Asian--yay!) who is driven to "assist" Carl to earn his final badge. He's also loving, determined to save Kevin, the bird, so she (yes, she) can get back to her babies (on a side note, I'm actually glad that when they realized that Kevin is in fact a "she" they didn't do that thing where they give her a feminine version of her name, or even change it to a "girl's" name). We also learn that Russell does not see his dad very often--getting the sense that he's one of those dad's that isn't very involved, and we see that Russell is dealing with his constant disappointment of his father, and missing even the simple things.

At the end of the movie, Carl and Russell both get what they've been missing in life, and they find it in each other.

Also, it was sweet when Carl realizes that Ellie's Adventure Book isn't blank in the section "Stuff I'm Going to Do," but is instead filled with pictures of her life with Carl.

I would like to point out that while I still love Pixar movies, I still wish we could have girls as main characters once in a while. I, as a girl, am able to relate to the males as they go on their adventures. I did not watch Finding Nemo or Up or Ratatouille in distraction because I was forced to relate to a male character, and so it is not a stretch of the mind AT ALL for boys and men to relate to girl characters. The story is not affected, but it at least gives us variety and equality in films, as well as illustrating that boys are not the only ones that can have adventures (that being said, I loved that Ellie was the more outspoken and adventurous person in Up; I only wish that she could have been there in more than just spirit, and while I don't think I would change anything in the movie, I would request that for future movies we don't use the death of the woman to uplift the male character (think of Up and Nemo).

While the scouts' ceremony is a touching scene that further illustrates the bond between Russell and Carl, I found it sort of odd that while Russell's mother is present, she was not standing up on stage with her son--she was in the audience. Just because all the kids are up there with dads is no reason to let your kid stand up there alone--he's not alone. Though I get that Russell has an absent father, they could have emphasized the relationship with the mother. Yeah, there's something missing, but he's not alone. I don't get along with my father and I don't talk to him much, but I wouldn't give up my relationship with my mother for anything.

Oh, and I have one more issue: all the dog characters that Muntz commanded were all male. They couldn't have made one female??? How hard would that have been? Just have a female voice for any one of the dogs--you don't even have to change the appearance of the dogs (since they're androgynous anyway).

I can't wait until this movie comes out on dvd. As with all other Pixar movies, I have to own it (well, except Cars, but I've got the others).

Because I just can't do anything else today...

2009-11-06T14:52:00.002-05:00

I offer you a fluffy kitty to help the world suck a little less:

Princess is here for you...

My thoughts go out to the victims of these last two horrific days. My heart goes out to the families who lost loved ones in the shootings.

The "odd" news category is so "clever" when it comes to "women"

2009-11-04T23:26:00.000-05:00

It's quiz time! What's wrong with this headline? "Beefeaters 'harassed' lone female Tower guard"

If you guessed the "ironic" quotes, 10,000 points.

And what might this "harassment" be in the form of, you may ask?

Cameron, 44, who beat five men to secure the coveted position, has had her uniform defaced and nasty notes left in her locker, newspapers reported, while one suspect has been cautioned by police for defacing Cameron's entry in the online encyclopedia Wikipedia.
"We can confirm that three Yeoman Warders are under investigation in response to allegations of harassment; two have been suspended," the Tower of London said in a statement.

Ooooohhhh. You mean harassed. Not "harassed." (To the author of this shit article: come see me for a quick grammar and punctuation 101.)

What the fuck. I'm getting sick of women's issues (generally those including various forms of harassment, violence against women, murder of women, etc) being filed under the label of "odd."

The first woman to hold a position formerly occupied exclusively by men is being harassed by two men she works with? Oh yes, that is quite odd. It's so odd, it's like it doesn't happen every fucking day to women. It's like, this one British woman is one out of none, apparently, because workplace harassment by jealous men who lost to a more competent and qualified woman just never happens. It's so rare in fact, it's just perfect for "Oddly Enough."

Fuck you Yahoo!

Fuzz Therapy

2009-11-04T17:09:00.000-05:00

Well, despite taking a sort of break (as usual, it seems) I cannot bring myself to deny you all teh fluffs (especially Craig Brimm, who won't admit to his fuzz-addiction just yet. That's okay, buddy...we can wait).

The mysteries of the sewing kit seemed to have captured Princess' attention as I toiled on my King Rat coat.

Alas, the allure of the colorful threads was evidently too much for her.

Does "lady stupid" exist?

2009-11-03T18:29:00.001-05:00

Idiocracy was on tv last night. I discovered it while channel surfing (I swear I don't normally watch Comedy Central a.k.a. Dudebro Central), and decided to watch it. As I was watching, and admittedly laughing, it suddenly occurred to me: this movie is all about exaggerated dude stupid.

Dude Stupid is a particular brand of stupid, that has recently been tapped and commodified in just about every fucking way possible. What is dude stupid? We've all seen dude stupid. Think about every movie starring Seth Rogan. It's Superbad. It's the franchise that Judd Apatow is currently shitting out for a specific male demographic. Dude stupid basically plays into the rise of the Man-Child:

The Man-Child's interests include smoking pot, drinking beer, watching porn and/or TV re-runs, pretending to be Gandalf and/or Darth Vader and/or other notable characters of sci-fi and fantasy film, playing video games, engaging in semi-dangerous XTreme sports such as smashing lightbulbs or setting things on fire, and generally just acting like a thirteen-year-old boy would if he had no curfews and no parents and no-one to stop him from being such an enormous loser all the time, my God.

Oh, and to dudes, women are only valuable if they put out and shut up.

Okay, so I'm watching Idiocracy, and it occurs to me that all the stupid things, or stupid things the stupid people in the future like, are all understood to be things that stupid, base men like. To name a few: handjobs, explosions, groin-kicking, wrestling, monster trucks, guns, and boobies. This movie stands as a prime example of dude stupid. Indeed Mike Judge has created a reservoir of stupid made entirely out of dudebro edginess filled with sexism and misogyny, and "ironic" racism. The women in Idiocracy (I counted two, did I miss one?) are only there to provide fodder for sexist jokes and comments, the main joke being that Rita is a prostitute, and Joe is naively unaware.

As I was watching this exaggerated glimpse into the exponentially stupid dude future, I wondered: is there a lady equivalent for dude stupid? Is there anything in existence that appeals to the sometime desire for ladies to laugh at senseless things that don't rely on sexist stereotypes? Or are only men afforded the luxury to be stupid, to say stupid things which entertain other men, and to do stupid activities? What if Idiocracy featured a main character that was a woman, interacting with other women in a predominately female cast? Why can't I picture these women engaging in anything other than what would appeal to patriarchal Man-Child-s? Is there a lady stupid that isn't airheaded, ditsy, "blonde," etc.? Anyone?

crossposted

Filthy note

2009-11-02T15:48:00.000-05:00

Just so you're all aware, I'm going to be writing few posts this week--if any. Now that Halloween is over, there are a lot of things that I have to catch up on. Mainly, I've still got some wedding preparations (sure, I have till June, but I tend to procrastinate, so I have to give myself a large amount of time to accommodate this trait).

Also, I've been neglecting my creative writing (i.e. poetry and stories not related to this blog) that I do in my spare time because I devote so much time to reading other people's blogs, commenting, and posting on my own blog.

Something to know about me is that I tend to do things in waves, and all of that depends on what I feel like doing. There are days when I cannot pull myself from the computer, glued to other blogs. There are days when I have to sew something, or I search around for scrap yarn to crochet. There are times when I have to sit down and scribble a note or story in my notebook. Hell, there are times when I just need to lay on the couch and play Pokemon on my DS (go ahead, make fun. I'll allow it). I can only describe these sudden illogical urges as "itches." This is also why I tend to have trouble doing things that I really should be doing (like planning my wedding) because I give in too easily the things I feel like doing.

And right now, I don't feel like I have it in me to post here as frequently. I just thought you all ought to know, in case you're wondering about my lack of discipline.

Happy Halloween (costume pics)

2009-11-01T01:14:00.000-05:00

So we just got back from the Madison Freakfest, and since there's been a demand for pics, I give you pics:

The above is me, in my King Rat make-up--or what I assume a man who lives in the sewer would look like.

I stuffed my coat pockets with squishy rats, and carried one around in my hands, swinging it by its tail.

We stopped at a bar first thing, because if I was going to deal with a bunch of drunk dudebros in public, I was going to need a beer. And it seems that the mission to wear a non-sexy costume was totally accomplished: at one bar my fiance and I both headed for the bathrooms, and as I was headed into the ladies' room, some dude tapped me on my back and informed me "Dude, that's the women's room." Part of me thought he should mind his own damn business, since I'm perfectly capable of finding my way to the "correct" piss room. The other part laughed, because I was seen as the anti-sexy. Thank you handmade slimy King Rat coat!

Oh, and here's a bonus fun pic (I know King Rat doesn't wear glasses, but I can't see more than three feet in front of me without them, so shut it):

I never did ask him though...I mean, there were like five guys dressed like Jesus at this thing. I could've asked them.

I think it's important to note that I was wearing three shirts under my ankle length coat and I was still cold. There were a few men walking around nearly naked, and of course most women were lacking in clothing due to some version of sexay! I heard one young woman complaining that she was cold. Big fucking surprise, huh?

And here is a list of offensive costumes I saw tonight:

10-15 men dressed as stereotypical Mexicans.
Some guy wearing orange and blackface (I saw him from an upstairs bar window, so didn't get a chance to learn his intention, not that it matters).
Sexy Native Americans and Eskimos.
Retarded Where's Waldo (I really, really wish I were joking).

"How about a shave?"

2009-10-29T20:20:00.000-04:00

Well, it took three hours, and I earned myself a nice blister, but the pumpkins are done:

Sweeney Todd

Mrs. Lovett

Since there weren't any spectacular summer movies to honor this year, I figured I should immortalize my two favorite actors (and incidentally my two favorite movie characters) in pumpkin flesh.

Mrs. Lovett was really hard, since I was working in four shades instead of three, like Sweeney's, but I think they turned out okay. I'll be better at it next year.

Fuzz Therapy: Halloween edition

2009-10-28T18:21:00.000-04:00

It's my favorite time of year, which means I have a lot of stuff to prepare before Halloween this Saturday. My King Rat coat is half-finished, and tomorrow I'll be spending the day carving up my pumpkins. I won't tell you what they are yet (in case I really screw them up), but don't worry: there will be pictures of those, too (unless I really screw them up). So forgive my lack of posts this week. I'm trying to savor the fall and Halloween before the snow comes.

And, for your viewing pleasure, I offer you Princess in a pumpkin hat (note: best $5 I ever spent):

This is my shame :(

But my joy!!

Ah, it cheers me so to make her pissed off. Every cat owner knows what I'm talking about.

Happy Halloween!

Dear my local news channel:

2009-10-26T07:23:00.000-04:00

I'd like to discuss your take on popular Halloween costumes. I can see why you'd say men favor the Batman and Michael Jackson costumes. They're certainly popular. But to say that women favor the sexy nurse and sexy barmaid completely misses the fact that there are no other kinds of costumes made available to women. They are all some version of sexy.

Yes, there are many women who love to dress sexy for Halloween, and that's perfectly fine, but don't generalize saying that women favor sexy costumes, because finding one that isn't sexy is damn near impossible. And extremely frustrating to attempt.

I'm actually glad Halloween will be over soon. Which fucking sucks because this is my favorite time of year.

Sincerely,
A woman who will be decidedly not sexy.

I got it!

2009-10-25T00:37:00.001-04:00

I've decided on my totally non-sexy Halloween costume. I'm going as King Rat. Yes, King Rat from the novel King Rat by China Mieville (whose prose makes me swoon). The anti-sexy. I am dressing as a man (or rat--it's pretty ambiguous) who once led armies of rats, and I'm totally embracing the whole "sewer denizen" image.

My fiance and I were at a Halloween Express earlier today trying to pick out costumes. I quickly became frustrated with the women's side. Mostly because we're dressing up for a Halloween festival. Which is outside. At night. In the fall. So no, I'm not going as a stripper. But even the men's costumes were pissing me off. Why must they all be designed for dudebros??? WHY???

I was about to give up and say forget the whole thing. I was not willing to settle for pirate or vampire, even of the non-sexy variety. That's when I looked down at a plastic cauldron full of squishy rats. And it hit me.

So I bought rats and make up. Tomorrow I will head back to my favorite craft store for material for the trench coat (though I'll be taking liberties by shortening the coat--I still have to be money-conscious). I'm pretty sure I can assemble it in time for Halloween. I thought about breaking out the rat coat, but that was inspired by the novel as a whole, not by the actual character.

Anyway, I'm having more fun putting my own costume together than I was trying to buy some pre-made (and poor quality) costume. I'll keep you all updated.

On intention

2009-10-22T16:08:00.000-04:00

My recent colorful discussion with Cute Overload got me thinking. The defense of the rape-referencing post was essentially another example of "It was not my intent...." Yeah, we've hear this before.

So, rather than waste more energy trying to get these particular people to understand why making rape jokes is not okay, I'm going to talk about intent in a broader context.

One can have the best intentions, and still say something racist. Or portray something racist. Or sexist. Or misogynist. Or homophobic. Or anything else that might make someone feel less than. One can, with the best of intentions, make light of rape, and then be left astounded that there was dissent. And you all may be wondering how this can happen.

Because intent is irrelevant. Intent does not affect how a wider audience will perceive what someone has said or done or made. I think this is best explained when discussing books, since there's "the author is dead" perception, which basically means you only consider the text. The author's life, experiences, education, family life, suffering, etc. is not relevant to the text. This is perhaps the most basic way of reading a text, because most of us read just the book, and unless there's also something about the author within that book, our perception of the book is based solely on the book. Unless we make an effort to learn about the author, we won't know about their possible motivations for writing the book.

I read Baudelaire's poetry before learning about his life. Many of the poems are misogynist--the poem from which I get my namesake is probably the best example of this. Learning about his life added some context, but I wouldn't go so far as to say, "Oh, that's okay, Charlie. Those women were bitches."

And for all I know, Sara Douglass really isn't a rape apologist.

But my problem with people claiming intent should change everything is that it's often used as an excuse. Whenever I talk to someone about intent, I point to this example:

The New York Post which published the cartoon has expressed that it was not intended to be racist, or offensive. Except, it was. And even if this was truly, innocently not supposed to be racist, it doesn't matter. People are capable of saying or doing things and meaning well, and still say something racist:

Let me quickly stipulate and clarify that one can unintentionally express racism. That innocent intent, or ignorance of the history of how people of color have been marginalized, does not, however, in any way change the quality of what was being expressed. Something can still be expressed racism even if the speaker's intent was not to oppress people of color. And particularly if it does fit neatly into a historical pattern, it necessarily conjures that pattern of racism, intentionally or not.

And even if it wasn't Adam Lambert's intention to exploit women, he did:

Citing intention is simply a way to avoid owning up to one's actions, words, or work. Saying things like "I didn't know it was racist," and "I wasn't trying to be sexist," and "I was referencing a movie, not making a joke out of rape," are all ways to avoid responsibility (though the last is also a product of our rape culture).

And that is why I say intent is irrelevant. Your good intentions do not give you a free pass. Sure, it's easy to react defensively and say that is not what you intended. We've all been there. There have been times where I have said something I regret, something which I said from a place of privilege, and which I thought was okay because I didn't intend for it to be taken that way, and the person calling me out on it was just being sensitive. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't reflect on it, and recognize why someone is calling me out on something I've said. I, like anyone else, am not perfect, and sometimes I may say or write something that upsets, hurts, triggers, or offends someone. And I will always do my very best to listen to someone's concerns, because it is also my intention to not further marginalize anyone by not owning up to my actions. And I would want someone to treat me with a similar sense of respect.

Fuzz Therapy

2009-10-21T18:43:00.002-04:00

So I'm having a bit of a rotten week. You can probably expect few posts from me, just so you all know. I apologize, but sometimes I do need to take a step back. However, I would not deprive you of some much needed fuzz (partially brought to you by MommyGrandeur).

Ah, a stretchy weenie.

I'm not sure what Rascal's watching there, but he looks interested.

And because I'd hate for Craig Brimm to miss out on his fondness for extreme fuzziness, here's the Princess:

Hope everyone's having a great week. I'd say I can't wait for the weekend, but unfortunately I have to work. Funny thing is someone at work asked me why I'm so grumpy. That's where the ol' "are you fucking kidding me?" look comes in handy.

There is a non-sexy Robin!

2009-10-21T08:22:00.001-04:00

In response to this post, Stephanie has sent me pictures of her and her husband, which I am sharing with her permission. She writes:

I just read your post on sexy halloween costumes, which is also something that I hate about halloween, but I had to share with you the batman and robin costumes I made for my husband and I two years ago (mine was mostly out of kids t-shirts from target) that were decidedly non-sexy - note the sensible shorts. This year he suggested we switch and I be batman...unfortunately, the small mask was just a little too much, so don't think I can handle the batman hood/mask.

Totally awesome! Any one else have non-sexy costumes they wouldn't mind sharing? It would cheer me up to post them.

More Cute Overload FAIL

2009-10-19T14:15:00.004-04:00

TRIGGER WARNING

Some of you may have read my previous fail post regarding Cute Overload. Well, I have some bad news. Thanks to an anonymous commenter I have learned of another epic fail on the cute site. There's a picture of a kangaroo (or wallaby, I'm not sure), in a post titled "The New Slave Girl, She Intrigues Me." The caption reads:

Something in her eyes — there is a fierceness to them, a smoldering, unquenchable fire that has consumed many a lesser man. It shall amuse me to break her spirit. Have her bathed and brought to my tent at midnight.

Wow. Just. Wait, let me pull it together here.

Are you fucking kidding me? It's a picture of a kangaroo and you're going to caption it with something incredibly racist and triggering?? Oh, that's so witty and clever of you to refer to the systemic rape of WOC (could be specifically black women, given the history of systemic rape and violence of black women in the US, but it could be referencing some romanticized idea of slave women--I don't really need to know. It's fucked up either way).

Seriously. What the hell Cute Overload? I don't need racism and rape references with my pictures of cute things, especially since you've embraced the notion that cute = happy.

But, just so we're clear: THIS IS NOT HAPPY AND IT'S NOT OKAY.

Apparently the comments section has been closed, but the post is still up. I encourage you all to write and give the mods a piece of your mind: general@cutelabs.com.

**UPDATE** The name of the post has been edited. "Slave" has been omitted. The caption remains unchanged. Even without the word "slave" the caption is still triggeringly creepy and disgusting. So is this subtle change supposed to fix everything? Short answer: no.

**UPDATE** The post has now been removed. The above link will take you to an error page. I'm hoping they'll own up to this post and apologize, rather than just pretend it never happened, but I'm not holding my breath.

**UPDATE** They didn't own up to the post. Instead they decided to ridicule their readers. With this sort of response, it makes me wonder why they took down the original post in the first place. I mean, obviously they don't care if they're offending anyone.

Lazy Sunday

2009-10-18T15:04:00.001-04:00

Hosted by a leaf bug I found on my fence yesterday:

Here are some awesome links from this last week.

Femimint Hygiene: Vagina Mints: File this under no and are you fucking kidding me??

The Pill makes you attracted to pansies: A "study" shows that women who are on the pill are more attracted to men with feminine features, whereas those who aren't are more attracted to "rugged" men. Oh nooeess! Women attracted to "wimps?" I guess the world is going to end soon.

I Do Believe in Lesbians, I Do! I Do!: Apparently Tinker Bell dressing for colder weather makes her more masculine, and that's so awful because it will turn your daughters into lesbians. Or something.

The Slut-shaming of Meghan McCain Over a Picture on Twitter: Aren't we tired of this sort of thing yet??

Enjoy the rest of your weekend everyone! And feel free to share your own links in the comments.

But I don't want to be sexy!!!

2009-10-17T12:31:00.003-04:00

It's nearly Halloween, and as every woman knows, that means we only have one option when it comes to costume choices: sexy.

But I don't want to be sexy.

My fiance suggested that we could dress up as Batman and Robin, which I thought would be fun. But I told him I wanted to be Batman. Which of course started a heavily gendered discussion.

First, a disclaimer: my fiance is wonderfully supportive. As I'm reading up on the ways in which privilege works, and discussing it with him, he's even been noticing it and pointing it out. He's also gotten really good at noticing gender roles and presentations, sexism, racism, etc. in shows, movies, and commercials. Sometimes I like to play a game, where I see a new ad on tv and after it's over, I look at him and ask, "Why do you think I'm angry about that?" He gets it right. And I know it's not easy recognizing privilege. I've been there. I'm still there. Because in recognizing the ways privilege works means that I have to give up that privilege, and there are times where it's like I'm having an internal battle. So I know that for a straight white cisgender man this is also difficult, because there's a lot of unpacking to do there. But it's all necessary.

That being said, me saying I wanted to be Batman still challenged some notions of gender that had yet to be discussed. So he suggested that I could be Batgirl. Or this abomination:

First off, NO. Second, how many times do I have to point out that high heels are not practical crime-fighting footwear? Third, FUCK NO. No way in hell am I wearing that. Ever. I wouldn't even risk losing a bet if I know that is my punishment. Note: the above image is labeled as a plus-size. Really.

I really really really hate that the woman version of anything has to be sexy. If I want to be Robin, why can't I just be Robin. Robin doesn't wear a skirt, or heels (though honestly I wouldn't complain if he did), so if I'm going to dress as the character, I'm going to dress the way he dresses without sexifying it.

Oh, and what the fucking hell is this:

A sexy school girl witch? Are you fucking kidding me? So, what? Now we're just mashing our heterosexual male fantasies together? Maybe I'll dress as a slave princess kitten pirate. With wings.

So anyway, my fiance and I were at the mall yesterday looking at costumes to kill time. After having my fill of the above, and similar ilk, I moved on to the men's side. That's when I saw the Edward Scissorhands costume, and I immediately got all excited and said that's what I wanted to be. My fiance's response: that's weird.

In a way I guess it would be (though after being together for nearly 5 years, you'd think he'd be used to my "weirdness"). And for several gendered reasons. One, it's a man's costume. There isn't even a sexy lady version of that one (which hadn't escaped my notice). Two, given that most if not all costumes marketed and made available to women are sexual, my choice in being not sexual is breaking from (a disturbing) norm. While I don't care if other women choose to freely express themselves on Halloween, the one day where we're actually expected to be sexual (well, we are anyway, but we're not supposed to like it, cuz then we're sluts, or something), it's not for me. Because, three, all costumes made available to women are all about playing up male fantasies. If I choose not to engage in this, I'm shirking the expectation of engaging in the male fantasy. My rejection of this effectively called out my fiance's privilege (see, the above disclaimer was relevant!). He, as a man, can be whatever he desires to be for Halloween. Me, as a woman, can be whatever a straight man desires me to be. My fiance has a privilege to express himself in any manner he chooses on Halloween. My options as a woman mean I can only express myself in a sexual manner within the confines of male fantasy.

And it gets disturbingly worse, because now us ladies can sexualize our doggies too:

Isn’t that cute? The dog looks like it’s filming a (more) pornographic version of the “Hit Me Baby One More Time” video! Seriously, dude, have the porn and entertainment industries so thoroughly brainwashed the American female into believing that her life ought to revolve around eliciting boners that we’ve now moved on to dogs?
[...]
I don’t dislike dogs. Dogs are cute and often very entertaining (though they stink a little more than I’d like them to), and I don’t mind seeing them around and even petting one occasionally. I won’t blame dogs for this abomination and affront to human decency and self-respect. I won’t blame the victim, as it were. Dogs don’t read blogs or dress themselves, so I’ll leave them out of it. Female pet owners and Halloween costume-wearers, on the other hand, I’d like to ask a question: Don’t you think it’s kind of insulting that when you have just one chance a year to be whatever you want, you’re still expected to be a sex object? Can’t we have one day of rest in 365? Men get to pretend to be any fanciful character their psyches can devise on Halloween. The don’t often come up with anything all that interesting, but still, they get to be whatever they want. And we’re supposed to also be whatever they want? That’s a pretty shitty deal.
The fuckability mandate sucks. Why foist it upon your poor dog?

This shit seriously needs to stop. Halloween is my favorite time of year, and this is ruining it for me. And whatever I dress up as (if I do dress up at all--money constraints and whatnot) you can bet it's not going to be some version of some male fantasy.

I'm thinking I might start planning for next year. Since I'm an avid seamstress, I think I'll just make my own damn costume. It sucks that the types of things I'd be willing to dress as just aren't available for me as a woman, and me making my own costume will only solve my problem. Hmm....maybe I'll start my own costume business: Feminist Costumes for Feminists.

**UPDATE** There is a non-sexy Robin after all. Who knew?

crossposted

Will someone plz think of teh children???

2009-10-17T11:34:00.000-04:00

Well, this white judge does. Or at least claiming to be thinking of the children instead of saying what he really feels. Basically Keith Bardwell has denied a marriage license to interracial couples, with this totally not racist defense:

"I'm not a racist. I just don't believe in mixing the races that way," Bardwell told the Associated Press on Thursday. "I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else."

I think Liss at Shakesville sums it up best:

Did I just read, in the year two thousand and nine A.D., a white man saying that he has "piles" of black friends who he generously allows to use his bathroom instead of sending them out in the backyard like a dog? And that's his defense that he's not racist?! For the love of Maude.

This judge has admitted he turns away interracial couples for the following totally not racist reason:

Bardwell said he asks everyone who calls about marriage if they are a mixed race couple. If they are, he does not marry them, he said.
Bardwell said he has discussed the topic with blacks and whites, along with witnessing some interracial marriages. He came to the conclusion that most of black society does not readily accept offspring of such relationships, and neither does white society, he said.
"There is a problem with both groups accepting a child from such a marriage," Bardwell said. "I think those children suffer and I won't help put them through it."

Huh. Well, apparently denying marriage to an interracial couple is somehow supposed to prevent children to those people? Yeah, dude. Sometimes shit doesn't work that way.

And what the hell is up with people having so much love and concern over potential children??? We have the anti-choice camp who's all about saving potential babies, i.e. exerting control over women's bodies (this same camp, of course, couldn't care less about those babies once they're born). And now we have Bardwell, who just cares so much for children that he can't stand helping interracial children exist at all by turning away interracial couples. That's seriously some fucked up logic.

So asking "What about the children?" is completely pointless. What about the children?

macon d points out that this is simply a way to deflect the real racist implications:

Yesterday's news from Louisiana -- about the denial of a marriage license to an interracial couple -- reminds me of a scenario that I've encountered several times in real life, and also many times in movies and TV shows (but I can't remember any particular example of the latter -- can you?).

A black and white couple want to get married, but the parents and others object. Especially the white parents. But of course, they won't admit to the racism that's motivating their objection. Maybe not even to themselves.

So instead of saying something like, "I just don't want you marrying someone who's black," they often say instead, "But, but . . . what about the children? They'll have so much trouble, feeling, you know, accepted and all."

Oh, those poor biracial children. As Liss aptly points out, "Well, he's got a point there. I mean, last I checked, the furthest a biracial child could go in America was president."

I would also like to speculate for a moment: if Bardwell asks every couple if they're interracial before agreeing to issue a marriage license, and he's only turned away four interracial couples (heavy snark), why is a complaint only being made now? Didn't this question strike a fucking chord with any of the non-interracial couples? I mean, if I was calling to inquire about a marriage license and that question was the first thing out of the judge's mouth, the first thing out of mine would be "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Or some colorful variation thereof. How is the race of the two people any of his damn business?? And why didn't anyone else call him out on this shit?

Post-racial my ass.

OMG PUMPKINS!

2009-10-16T15:43:00.000-04:00

Fall is undoubtedly my favorite season, and thus, Halloween is my favorite holiday. I shamefully admit that I went trick or treating up until my senior year of high school. Halloween is one of the reasons I can't wait to have kids (well, I can, but this will be a perk) since I will be stealing their candy. They can try to hide it if they want, but my brother and I invented all the good hiding places for candy given that it was either hide it, or let it be consumed by DaddyGrandeur. Not that I blame him at all for trying. We ended up sharing with him anyway. I mean, he does this nice "can I please have some candy?" thing, or something. At any rate, it was good enough to make two sugar-crazed children actually want to share. That's okay though. He's "good dad" so he's earned it.

One of the best parts of Halloween is carving pumpkins. This is actually one of the few activities I miss doing with my biological dad, back when I thought the world of him (my grown-up self knows better now). I carved Vincent Price (above) while I was in college, and gave it to my grandparents the same day since I was worried about attracting fruit flies in my dorm.

Last year I was caught up in the Batman frenzy, mostly because that was by far the best Batman movie yet, and also because Heath Ledger's performance was...incredible. To honor the movie, and my nerdiness, I carved Batman and Joker pumpkins. The Joker one was actually a little disappointing. It seemed awesome in theory, but the pattern (not my own) wasn't the greatest. So this year I'm going to try for actual portraits, but I'm not sure yet what they'll be. Sadly, there weren't any movies this summer that inspire such art, so I might have to reexamine some of my old favorites. I will certainly post pictures when they're done.

Happy carving!

Guest post at stuff white people do

2009-10-15T19:07:00.000-04:00

Macon D has graciously allowed me to compose a guest post for his site "stuff white people do." Check it out:

stuff white people do: hate sagging, especially when white guys do it

So I've long noticed a common white tendency involving sagging pants: white people in general seem to hate sagging, and that hate is only intensified when the person sagging is also white.

I notice this tendency because my brother sags, and I have observed a number of instances where white people have not been too shy to express their judgments toward him. He's been told to pull up his pants, helpfully reminded that he's not black (as if my brother is unaware of his skin color), and told to stop talking with that "accent."

These criticisms often came from members of our own family. I can recall several instances where our dad yelled at him for "acting black." But often this criticism comes from complete strangers (all white), usually in the form of street harassment. He's told me that he's had white people shout at him from their cars while he walks to work, telling him to pull his pants up.

Read the rest here.

Fuzz Therapy

2009-10-14T17:10:00.000-04:00

It's Wednesday. So here's your fuzzy goodness!

There's Princess, pushing my hand away. This is her way of declaring "DO NOT TOUCH" with a non-lethal scratch.

How can I not touch her though? She's so fluffy. And she's always tempting me with her cute pink belly...

Oh the torment!

French Vogue does blackface for supermodel issue

2009-10-13T14:56:00.000-04:00

Via Craig Brimm of kiss my black ads:

According to this site (also courtesy of Craig):

The roster — including Kate Moss, Kristen McMenamy, Yasmin Le Bon, Eva Herzigova, Claudia Schiffer, Anna Selezneva, Diane Kruger, Constance Jabloski, and Eniko Mihalik — is entirely white. No black or Asian models made the cut. But they hired Lara — and her curves — in the spirit of inclusiveness, right?

I guess any white model with the right shade of brown paint works just as well...

I'm not really sure what the intended effect for this is, but as I've said before intent is inconsequential. I'm just really really sick of having this same conversation every time something like this appears. I mean, didn't we just do this? Oh yeah. We did.

Lazy Sunday

2009-10-11T14:34:00.001-04:00

I haven't done a link round up in a while, so I apologize (again). Here are some awesome links I came across a while ago, and some more recent ones. Check em out and leave the authors some love.

"Politics of Peeing: Test-driving a Go-Girl": awesome review of the device that lets us ladies pee standing up.

"Your Truth is Merely Truthiness, Friend": Liss of Shakesville on walking away from God. Though I can't say I've ever really believed in God, I can sort of relate to her post. From the post: "I was learning how to get into Heaven. I wasn't learning how to be a good person." I applaud her for making that distinction.

"The Anatomy of a Tucker Max Joke": Tucker Max really only has like 6 or 7 jokes, and this post breaks down the formula. Best quote: "I have one big problem with the “but it’s just funny!” defense. If an appreciation for Max’s “facts” requires only a sense of humor, and not latent misogyny, racism, or homophobia, why are his fans willing to listen to the exact same joke over and over and over again? It’s the same fucking joke."

"Schrodinger's Rapist: or a guy's guide to approaching strange women without being maced": which reminds me: I should buy mace. This is a must read. (Some) men need to understand sometimes ladies just want to function in public without being hit on. Sometimes, we're just not interested (some of us are already in relationships). This handy guide will teach you all about why we may not be interested, and about bare minimums (i.e. eye contact is usually pretty important. No eye contact? Then you should probably leave us the fuck alone).

"Then God said, 'Let there be sex,' and God saw it was good": This is in case anyone should accuse me of being anti-religion/God, which I'm not. I thought this post was quite awesome: "And somehow my mama managed to bring God into our discussions without bringing in guilt."

Want to illustrate the disposability of women?

2009-10-10T16:35:00.001-04:00

It works best if you compare them to disposable snot rags.

I couldn't find the tv commercial to embed, but you can check it out at the above link and click for films (the as seen on tv icon).

A cursory glance at their channel imparts a few things:

Moms come 8 varieties: resourceful mom, Southern old timey mom, spicy Latina mom, hippie mom, strict older mom, BFF mom, do everything cuz she loves her babies so much mom, and the tough love mom.
Mom varieties seem to have been yanked out of popular dudebro movies.
Moms can be cool and like sports (but mostly it's to impress the men they care for).
Moms love to tell other moms what to do.
Moms are apparently not exempt from racial stereotypes.

Don't like your mom? That's okay, because now you can choose the perfect mom for you. It's okay if you're a douchebag man-child. There's a mom who will love you anyway. And if you get sick of her too, just get a knew one. Moms are tissues, I guess.

Update: I just thought of something else that bothers me about this stupid campaign: the whole mom identity. Once a woman becomes a mom, the mom identity overshadows everything else. Often in movies, tv shows, and even ads we see moms being moms, and any other identity is secondary to the mom identity. Kleenex has cashed in on the mom identity. These created moms are super awesome because their identities as moms seems to be of utmost importance in their limited characterization.

And it's like a pageant, where they're acting out skits and scenarios, and then encouraging the viewer to pick them. Weird.

Bonus Fuzz

2009-10-09T23:22:00.001-04:00

I probably shouldn't be drinking while I'm technically sick, but it's hard to resist the allure of Blue Moon's pumpkin ale.

So here is my infamous Princess again in a bonus Fuzz Therapy. I'll probably feel bad tomorrow about bothering her while I'm drinking, but whatever. For a 17 year old cat, she's pretty resilient.

And she says no to alcohol:

Smart cat.

Happy Friday everyone! Hope your Saturday is awesome (and it probably will be if you don't have to work--I do, unfortunately. Blah).

Update: Called in sick this morning. The fiance's on call all night, so I'll be napping on the couch all day with the kitty. It'd be a great Saturday if I didn't feel like shit. Bleh.

Sixth graders in Sweden file complaint against Toys R Us for gender stereotyping

2009-10-08T20:54:00.003-04:00

Just when I think the world really sucks, it's always a sharp group of kids to totally brighten my day:

Last winter, a sixth grade class at Gustavslund school in Växjö in south central Sweden reported Toys"R"Us to the Reklamombudsmannen (Ro), a self-regulatory agency which polices marketing and advertising communications in Sweden to ensure they are in line with guidelines set out by the International Chamber of Commerce (ICC).

According to the youngsters, the Toys"R"Us Christmas catalogue featured “outdated gender roles because boys and girls were shown playing with different types of toys, whereby the boys were portrayed as active and the girls as passive”, according to a statement from Ro.

The group’s teacher explained to the local Smålandsposten newspaper that filing the complaint was the culmination of more than two years of “long-term work” by the students on gender roles.

Thumbing through the catalogue, 13-year-old Hannes Psajd explained that he and his twin sister had always shared the same toys and that he was concerned about the message sent by the Toys"R"Us publication.

“Small girls in princess stuff…and here are boys dressed as super heroes. It’s obvious that you get affected by this,” he told the newspaper.

“When I see that only girls play with certain things then, as a guy, I don’t want it.”

Children's toys are often sources of great frustration, especially for womanists and feminists, since they're seemingly never-ending pools of stereotypical gender roles. Toys for girls often mimic the roles of care-taking and domesticity, while those for boys often encourage aggression. And of course there's the problematic active vs. passive.

When kids like this seek to change the world, I'm reminded that there is hope for us. If sixth-graders can see how the enforcement of stereotypical gender roles in a toy catalog can be problematic, and a third grader can organize a rally to support gay marriage, well, that's just incredibly amazing.

H/T: Feministing

crossposted

Jay Smooth on Roman Polanski

2009-10-08T12:44:00.001-04:00

Just when I didn't think my internet crush on Jay Smooth could be more intense, he's come up with this:

In short, thank you!

Fuzz Therapy (Guest Fuzz)

2009-10-07T18:56:00.001-04:00

Sorry again for the lack of posting. I've got a cough right now, and coupled with my asthma my breathing problems are wearing me down. I've been going to work every day, since I can't really afford to miss a day, but by the time I get home I haven't felt up to writing anything. So, bear with me. I'll get back on track soon. But I certainly wasn't going to deprive you all of fuzzy goodness.

Provided once again by MommyGrandeur. Both my parents moved to a new house recently, and apparently Rascal and Precious have already found their new favorite place: the front porch.

Rascal looking for lizards to hide in DaddyGrandeur's shoes

And Precious, everyone's favorite weenie.

Hope everyone's having a great week. Time for more medicine and a nap.

Today in "are you fucking kidding me???"

2009-10-06T19:47:00.000-04:00

Robert Pattinson is ranked as 44th on the list of 49 most influential men of 2009.

Um, I know he's starred in a popular movie and all, but come on. He's not phenomenal by any means. He's a mediocre actor who happened to land the role of a character that was already popularized by the novel. Calling that "influential" is a tad excessive, I think.

Good thing I'm still not feeling well or I might be tempted to run into a brick wall repeatedly until I can forget that this dude even exists.

Then again, I have high standards.

Cute Overload FAIL

2009-09-30T20:05:00.000-04:00

Today is full of fail, I suppose.

I find cute animal pics to be highly therapeutic, given the topics I read / blog about. So you can imagine my disappointment / disgust / disbelief etc. when I visited Cute Overload and found this lovely comparison:

(Each dog pic is followed by a picture of Eleanor Roosevelt).

Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, the jowly puppy is cute, and it's wrinkles do resemble those of a crumpled towel. What's not okay? Comparing a jowly puppy to a famous woman. Why? Because women who don't meet society's shitty standards of beauty are often referred to as dogs, so making such a callous comparison is insulting and sexist. One commenter asked "When someone says a bulldog looks like Winston Churchill, do people get all upset?"

My guess, probably not; but then again there isn't a long sexist history of comparing men to dogs. So no, it's not the same at all, and yes, we have a legitimate right to be angry.

At least this is one instance I won't have to tell you all to stay out of that post's comments, because the majority are actually denouncing this comparison.

Fuck. I'm angry ~~again~~ still.

Hollywood FAIL

2009-09-30T18:51:00.002-04:00

The list of actors crying out in a plea to free Roman Polanski (a.k.a fugitive child rapist) is continuing to grow. The lesson of course being that if you're a famous director with enough money and influential friends, you can go around drugging and raping children without consequence. Or at the very least, a lot of people will support you, despite the fact that you're a disgusting piece of shit.

And it speaks volumes of the people crying out in defense. Well, like it or not, people whose work we admire are also capable of being complete assholes. That admirable work does not negate the crimes that person committed.

And it's the same song we've heard before. Bottom line is the man drugged and raped a 13-year-old girl. That this crime took place more than 30 years ago is completely irrelevant. That the victim does not wish to pursue this does not mean that Roman Polanski gets a free fucking pass. And that anyone is even supporting this vile man just because he's directed a few decent movies is such a fucking leap of logic that I find this whole ugly thing utterly depressing.

Roman Polanski committed a horrendous crime, and if we at all cared about his victim (and other victims of rape which are overlooked or blamed every fucking day) then we shouldn't be defending him.

I recently read a post over at The Curvature that makes an excellent point (in discussing the rape of Mackenzie Phillips by her father, John Phillips), but I think it's relevant in this case too:

All survivors experience backlash by going public — that backlash is only going to grow tenfold when the abuser is famous. It’s this backlash that makes coming forward so difficult, but also so significant. People don’t like to hear that their heroes can also be rapists, and that rapists can also be heroes. People don’t like to hear that rapists can have separate qualities worth admiring, can have talent, and depth, and people who love them. People don’t want to hear anything about rapists that doesn’t involve them being evil, slimy, instantly identifiable monsters, who have absolutely no worth or humanity. People don’t want to hear it because it makes rape easier to ignore, deny, forget, and believe could never happen to them, could never be committed by someone they know.
That is precisely why people need to hear it.
John Phillips was a very talented singer and songwriter. He’s a little bit of a 60s icon. And he was also apparently a rapist. Most people are currently unable to hold these things simultaneously in their minds. This is evidenced by all that is up above. And rape apologism and denialism aren’t going to stop until, among other things, they (and we) learn how to.

This is all just an utter shit-pile of fail.

Here are more links on Polankski:

Polanski: The Defend-a-thon

Her Reasons Are Not Yours

puzzle activity time!

Michigan woman "violating law" for baby-sitting neighbors' children

2009-09-30T18:03:00.001-04:00

I just found this article: State to mom: Stop baby-sitting neighbors' kids.

IRVING TOWNSHIP, Mich. – Each day before the school bus comes to pick up the neighborhood's children, Lisa Snyder did a favor for three of her fellow moms, welcoming their children into her home for about an hour before they left for school.
Regulators who oversee child care, however, don't see it as charity. Days after the start of the new school year, Snyder received a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continued, she'd be violating a law aimed at the operators of unlicensed day care centers.
"I was freaked out. I was blown away," she said. "I got on the phone immediately, called my husband, then I called all the girls" — that is, the mothers whose kids she watches — "every one of them."
Snyder's predicament has led to a debate in Michigan about whether a law that says no one may care for unrelated children in their home for more than four weeks each calendar year unless they are licensed day-care providers needs to be changed. It also has irked parents who say they depend on such friendly offers to help them balance work and family.

It's all really stupid. Women are expected to be good mothers, and provide for the family. In most families, both spouses must work in order to pay the bills and still have money for food. That doesn't leave a whole lot left over for childcare, and often the help of friends and neighbors is crucial to families. This help (that has no monetary gain) should not require a fucking license.

Let's all think of this story the next time some anti-choicer wants to force women to have children, and not help with maternity and childcare once that child is born. Fuck. I'm pissed.

This will make it better:

Fuzz Therapy (Guest Fuzz)

2009-09-30T17:33:00.000-04:00

Brought to you by MommyGrandeur:

Here we see the ever so helpful Rascal, taking a snooze while Mommy- and DaddyGrandeur unpack at their new house.

MommyGrandeur says the evil death-look is his not happy reaction to her disturbing his nappy-time. Careful of those fangs peaking out, Mommy.

He gets his own pillow? What the hell, Mom? When I was in college I didn't even have my own room to come home to!

And just for good measure, here's MommyGrandeur's weenie, Precious. Love the ears, weenie!

Happy Wednesday everyone! And submit your own fuzz. Or else.

Um...what?

2009-09-29T15:58:00.001-04:00

I really should just stop watching tv...it's probably not good being angry all the time.

Filthy note

2009-09-28T14:41:00.001-04:00

I've been meaning to post, but I'm having one of those lethargic weeks again, and I just don't feel like it. I have difficulty sleeping too, so when the exhaustion catches up to me I find it hard to motivate myself. Which kind of sucks, because I have a lot I should be working on (including but not exclusive to wedding planning), but every now and then I just need to take a step back.

Because of my laziness, you get a bonus fuzz therapy (well, sort of bonus, since I posted this pic already, but it gives me giggles, so there).

This was taken last year during the summer, when I had had enough of all the fur in my house. Plus Princess is not pleasant to groom--(I should make a video sometime--we'll be a youtube sensation!)--so I took the easy way out by paying some lady to shave her. But since she's 17 now, I didn't really want to stress her out, so I just suck it up and groom her myself. I do miss the response I get when I ask the groomer "How was she?" It usually involves some sort of death look. Once I had one groomer yell at me about my evil cat while she brandished her bleeding hand at me and wailing about how she hopes it doesn't get infected, whereupon I pointed out to her that when I dropped her off I suggested using a muzzle. Not my fault she doesn't know how to listen. And after the way she man-handled my cat back into the carrier, I was glad Princess bit her--hell, I thought I was going to bite her myself before I left.

Time for a nap on the couch.

Want: Buddha-shaped pears

2009-09-24T19:26:00.000-04:00

Yeah, I want this:

Chinese farmer Gao Xianzhang has managed, after several years of trial and error, to grow pears in the shape of Buddha. The Zen like pears, sold for about US$8 each are grown inside plastic moulds at his orchard in northern China.

I don't know if I could bring myself to eat it, though.

God dammit--is there no low our sexism won't stoop to?

2009-09-24T17:44:00.001-04:00

First: *headdesk*

Second: what the fucking hell??? Are there no bounds to our sexism that even breast cancer awareness becomes a fetishized striptease for the heterosexual male gaze???

While I'm all about promoting awareness for breast cancer, I don't think reducing women to their "boobies" accomplishes very much. Because what this really achieves is telling women saving our boobies is for teh menz. We have to protect these luscious beauties, so men will stare at us when we bounce them around! And don't forget ladiez: street harassment is totally a compliment! Ugh.

There's also another issue I have with this video: what exactly is this saying to women who have survived breast cancer? What about women who have had to have mastectomies to survive breast cancer? As if we needed another god damn affirmation that the entirety of our femininity and womanhood is what's stuffed in our bras. Protecting and familiarizing ourselves with our bodies is one thing--it's entirely another to do those things within the parameters of the male gaze--I don't need men drooling about my breasts for me to suddenly be filled with a desire to "save them." Fuck this ad.

H/T: Feministing

crossposted

Fuzz Therapy

2009-09-23T19:02:00.000-04:00

That's right. It's Wednesday, so here's your fuzz.

That's my pretty Princess rolling around on the floor. She often does this as soon as I get in the door. Then she'll stop, make sure I'm looking, and proceed with the rolling. It's irresistible.

And here we see my fiance playing his favorite game: poke the fluffy kitty (while wearing mis-matched socks). The Princess doesn't like to be touched.

And here's your bonus fuzz (minus the fuzz):

That's my Whoopi, hunkering down for the coming winter. I think I have the only grumpy turtle in the world. I mean, every other turtle ever looks happy. Even when I bribe her with worms, she still looks pissed. I wonder if this is a learned trait?

If you're sick of looking at Princess, then I suggest you send me something else. Or...else.

A discussion with grandma

2009-09-23T18:26:00.000-04:00

So I've decided to vent a little more on the "bad" side of my family, previously discussed here.

On my last visit with my dad and grandparents, I sat in the living room with my grandmother discussing my blog, telling her some of the more colorful criticisms I've gotten recently. I told her that I've been told a number of times that I'm just an angry bitter person.

"Well," my grandma began, "are you angry?"

I smiled at her. I knew this was going toward a lecture from her, and I'm old enough now to know I'd better head her off; piss her off before she can piss me off. It's a game my brother and I have grown rather fond of over the years, particularly him since he has to live there.

"I didn't say they were wrong. I just think that it's funny that 200+ posts can be reduced to 'you're just an angry feminist.' But yeah, I am angry. I'm angry because as a woman I have less rights than a man. Women are still fighting for equal rights and equal pay. I'm angry because we're supposedly so post-racial, when you can look everywhere and see that racism hasn't gone anywhere at all. I'm angry because rich, white, Christian men are not just telling me what I can and can't do with my body, but have put laws in place so that I do not have my own choice. I'm angry because those same men are keeping marginalized groups of people from equal rights, and have undeserved privilege that they cling to. I am angry because I have a hell of a lot to be angry about."

She proceeded to ignorantly tell me how she thinks "black people have more rights than we do," and she doesn't "believe in gay marriage," but she's supposedly open-minded because she says "It's not something I would choose, but it's okay if other people choose to be gay," and asked me "why write about things you can't change?"

I headed off each of her "arguments" with a lecture of my own. I laughed at her accusation that black people supposedly have more rights than her, a white woman, and expressed this to her, citing the over representation of POC in prisons, the lack of opportunities, the study after study that illustrates job discrimination, etc.

I told her that she can "not believe" in gay marriage all she wants, that doesn't mean it doesn't exist, that it's not a right that everyone is entitled to. Sexuality is not chosen--people can't control who they are attracted to. I told her how if someone's partner is ill in the hospital, unless they're married they have no legal right to be with that partner. And there are other rights associated with marriage that homosexual people are not legally entitled to because the law doesn't recognize their union. I asked her how is this fair?

I told her that transgender people are not "sick" as she eloquently put it, and I lectured her on her cisgendered privilege, and on identity, and it's not for her or anyone else to tell someone how they can identify.

And I write because staying silent is too easy. I try my best to be an ally to other groups which I am not part of, and I try my best to write about feminism and women's rights because those things directly affect me. I'm only one voice, but I'm adding it to the collectivity of other voices, because the more of us calling out discrimination, the more likely change will happen. How can we expect change if we say nothing?

When I was done, she had nothing to say. I've never seen that woman be quiet ever. I had won.

Less than five minutes later, my grandpa came in, and she was yelling at him. Telling him he was stupid, and she hated him, and to eat his dinner and shut up. And I remember thinking again about marriage: she and my grandpa have been married more than 50 years. They've slept in separate beds longer than I've been alive. Before my grandpa's accident, he would yell back. My memories of my grandparents are punctuated with the incessant fights and apparent disgust for one another. I've only heard them say they love one another once in my life. On their 50th wedding anniversary my grandmother admitted the only reason she didn't divorce him was because she didn't feel like filling out the paperwork.

Reflecting on this, I wonder how this woman has the audacity to cling to her privilege, and to sit there and tell me she doesn't believe in gay marriage, when her marriage is...ugly. She would rather deny others a right that she's taken for granted. She would deny marriage to two people that actually love each other because her views have become distorted.

And this ignorant hypocrisy is exactly what we've all been speaking against.

Wait, what?

2009-09-22T17:02:00.001-04:00

Oh, that's what I thought: all things evil are super possessive. That's why they're evil, I guess.

I do love that "feminist's" follows "gangster's" on that list. Totally awesome.

Bonus lol: did they seriously list emo's [sic] and sport's nut's [sic]? Here's my response:

H / T Deeky from Shakesville

Today in big surprises

2009-09-21T17:55:00.001-04:00

Teen Birth Rates Higher in Highly Religious States.

Huh. Apparently telling teens to wait and discouraging the use of contraception does little to deter teen pregnancy. Go figure.

I guess I'm just okay with making Jesus cry with my pre-marital sex.

H / T: Feministing

Wisconsin man tackles robber

2009-09-21T17:34:00.000-04:00

Via Shakesville:

I just had to repost this. It took place in West Allis, WI, which is about 10 minutes from here. While I don't feel much pride for a state I've only lived in a year and a half, I still have that sense of proximity, and can't contain the subsequent "Woo!"

Lazy Sunday

2009-09-20T13:50:00.000-04:00

Yeah, so the all day sampling of beer turned out to be a not so great idea. Who knew, right? Anyway, here's some links.

Melissa at Shakesville discusses Kanye's behavior much more eloquently than I was planning to.

Sady at Tigerbeatdown writes about a Seth MacFarlane interview. I'm at the point now where I'm about done with Family Guy; yeah, it's due to the rape jokes. Sady also has a great post about Micheal Moore's tendency to incite ignorant rage, which of course doesn't accomplish anything.

This was so awesome I had to link to it: Sexual Assault Prevention Tips Guaranteed to Work.

And at Racialicious: Jon and Kate Plus Race.

I'm going to lay on my couch and play video games now. Happy Sunday!

Random late-night drunk post

2009-09-19T22:35:00.000-04:00

Yeah, it's one of those nights. Or days. I've been drunk since 3pm, thanks to the Great Lakes Brewfest. Luckily I wasn't scheduled to work today.

It was a good day though, since my fiance and I spent the day sampling beers. And we got free glasses out of it to add to our collection, so yay! Sadly, I can't remember which beers I actually liked since I frequented so many booths in four hours. I think I'm going to break down and buy my Baudelaire beer shirt though, since, well, it's Baudelaire (if you're new here, look at the banner--that's the creepy dude staring at you), and it's a beer quote.

The night is still young, though, so we'll be staying up late watching Lost (we recently discovered it on hulu--and of course, we're hooked).

Hope everyone else is having an equally awesome Saturday night! Cheers!

Filthy movie reviews: 9

2009-09-17T19:15:00.001-04:00

[SPOILER ALERT]

I saw 9 a few days ago, and meant to do at least a quick write-up of it. So here you go. (Yeah, I'm going the lazy route because I'm, well...lazy).

The Good
The artwork. OMFG the artwork! If ever there was animated eye-candy, the visuals in this movie was it. The whole movie was like one moving painting. The ragdolls themselves were so richly designed in such detail and texture that they seemed real. I think my favorite was in the opening credits where the scientist was assembling 9, stitching him together; one of my favorite hobbies is sewing, so I really appreciated the scene. There's something poetic in using sewing as a metaphor for creation.

The voice of Elijah Wood. Need I say more? Yeah, I do: Sarah Connelly as the voice of 7. Totally awesome.

The machines were made of organic and inorganic materials--I loved this. I love the combination of metal and bone, the combination of nature and machine.

7 is the token badass lady ragdoll. She is even more interesting when it's revealed that all of the ragdolls were created by the scientist who we saw creating 9, and all of them are made of pieces of his soul (he died right after he put the last bit of his soul into 9). Apparently that dude had at least a little badass lady in him after all. I sort of also read 3 and 4 to be gendered feminine, but I wonder if other people thought this too? Something about their adorable librarian nerdiness made me think "ladies." Maybe because I can totally relate. My fiance said he thought they were male (he used the word "default." We'll be having a discussion about that later--ha!). It's sort of anyone's guess, I suppose, since 3 and 4 didn't speak, and all the ragdolls look about the same (the real gender-cue for 7 being her voice, and also that she wore earrings--but she does run around with a bird skull as a helmet!). Thankfully the makers of the movie didn't do that stupid thing where female characters are gendered by the fact that they have eyelashes--(uh, like men don't?)--since all their eyes are like binocular pieces.

The Bad
The plot--or lack of. "OMG the humans created machines, and they can't control them. Oh, they're all dead now. Oops. Should've known better, I guess." Seriously though, aren't we sick of this plot-line? The whole time I was hoping for more development. I mean, I can suspend my belief for a lot of things, but the over-used plot of rogue machinery, is well, played out. It was quite predictable by the end.

It felt very...rushed. The opening credits shows us 9's creation, then he's awake, and suddenly he's bent on saving 2, then inexplicably puts the medallion thingy in a slot and wakes up the really bad machine that makes other machines, and then he has to destroy that...it goes on--but not for very long. It felt like only a day and a half passed for 9 since his awakening, to the end of the movie when the machine is destroyed. To me, that didn't feel like adequate time had passed to give 9 the believable amount of motivation. And it certainly didn't seem like enough time had passed for there to be as strong a bond between 9 and 7 as what was in the movie. Oh look they just met, and they're like in ragdoll love now, or something... It seemed 9 was going through the motions because, well, someone had to. And 7 is tough, but not tough enough, I guess, since everything was reliant on 9's actions / deductions. I think it also bothered me since 9 is essentially the youngest ragdoll, the others being in existence before all the humans were dead, and yet it was 9 that had the most motivation to do, well, anything..

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If nothing else, it's certainly a beautiful artistic movie, though elements of it were sadly lacking. While searching for images, I stumbled upon the short film that inspired the movie via this site, and thought I'd share it. It's only about 9 minutes (ha), but one can easily see the elements that appeared in the feature-length film.

9 Nine Shane Acker Short Animation
by FrFKmeron

Fuzz Therapy

2009-09-16T18:54:00.002-04:00

I was hoping to get this up this morning, but then I woke up late, and I was dragging my feet, and so you all had to suffer by getting your Fuzz Therapy late. I'm grumpy. Deal with it.

Here we got a Princess caught in mid-stretchiness. Ugh, damn her cute pink toes.

I love the Popeye-esque face-cleaning in this one. Catching her in any sort of pose is really tricky, since as soon as I pick up the camera, she looks at me, or leaves the room. I have become a skilled ambush-photographer to obtain fuzzy pics.

Which reminds me--since there's only so many poses I can capture of Princess, send me your fuzzy pics now!!

Most adorable thing ever

2009-09-16T18:29:00.002-04:00

I just had to share this video with you all. The look on this dude's face is priceless.

On elder abuse

2009-09-14T19:06:00.000-04:00

So, this is me sort of asking for advice.

As some of you know, last week I took off to Michigan for a few days to check out the wedding places. I think I spent a total of 3 hours with my actual family, a friend of mine being kind enough to let me stay with her--and for good reason. Staying even those 3 hours was an intolerable excursion through dysfunction.

First, some quick family background: my mom divorced my dad over seventeen years ago. Since they split up, he's been living at his parents' house. He's essentially waiting for my grandparents to die; his logic is "Why should I buy a house. My parents will be dead soon." Yeah, you've been saying that longer than I've been alive.

Now, my dad is from a family of alcoholics. I have vivid memories of my grandma and grandpa bringing beer in the car with them when they drove me and my little brother anywhere--the console is apparently a suitable cooler. I can count on one hand how often I've interacted with my dad when he was sober. Those are precious few times where I found him to be an actual "dad."

Other than alcoholism, that side of my family also has anger issues, which is probably worsened by the alcohol addiction. There have been times where I didn't even realize how the situation suddenly changed from a laughing visit to a vicious verbal assault on one or more family members. I remember one time my dad was searching for his keys while my brother, grandma, grandpa, and I waited on the cold dark porch (my dad being too drunk to figure out which key he needed). My grandma told my dad to hurry up, and suddenly everyone was screaming. We got in the house, and the fight didn't cease. I remember being upset and scared, and finally hiding under a table in the basement laundry room.

My grandmother had to stop drinking a few years back after her stroke, and since then her drastic mood swings seem to have intensified. Two years ago, my grandpa took a nasty fall down the basement steps, and cracked his head open on the stone floor at the bottom. Since then he's been in and out of the hospital for various treatments and surgeries, and he's spent intermittent amounts of time recovering in nursing homes. My dad now has an excuse to remain living in his parents' basement--to take care of them in their old age.

Now, the only person that does any housework is my brother, and he does the minimum, since it shouldn't fall to him, which makes my dad's excuse pitiable, at best. The house is in serious neglect. No one has dusted or vacuumed in years. When the cats get sick, the vomit is ignored. I know I hurt my grandma's feelings when I refuse to eat or sleep there, but it's honestly disgusting, and I have asthma--just sitting in that house causes me to wheeze. Anyone who's ever experienced chronic breathing problems will know where I'm coming from. Not being able to breathe is one of my most frightening nightmares. My dad is able-bodied, and supposedly living there to take care of his ailing parents, yet he really doesn't do anything.

Anyway, the atmosphere of that house is one of hate and constant verbal abuse. They can all put on a show to outsiders, but close friends and family have seen them at their worst. My grandmother has always seemed to hate my grandpa, but that seems to have intensified after she's had to give up drinking, and even more so now that my grandpa has special needs. No one has anything nice to say to anyone else. It seems like all they know is fighting, and insulting one another. And they don't think anything is wrong with this. To them, it's the norm to live in constant discord.

This last time I was at their house, I was only able to talk to my grandpa for about five minutes before my grandma interrupted him. He spends most of his day hiding out in the garage--he's made a sort of refuge out there, complete with a tv and all his old movies. Because as soon as he comes in, my grandmother attacks him. About everything. He's walking too slowly, or too quickly. He's breathing too loudly, or coughing too much. I heard recently that he was taking too long in the bathroom, and my grandma was apparently so incensed that when he opened the door she took his walker from him and threw it down the hallway.

When I was visiting, my grandpa came in for dinner, and my grandma dropped the plate in front of him. He didn't utter a single word. It looked like a scene from a prison movie. It was heartbreaking to watch him. I spoke to him, and he seemed reluctant to talk--or even do so loudly enough for my grandma to overhear. He mustered up the guts to ask my grandma for a pickle. It took her ten minutes to calm down. It was awful to witness.

But the worst goes on when I'm not there. My friends and relatives who go over to help him out are worried my grandma might hit him, if she's not already. Friends take care of his infusions because they're afraid she'll get impatient and hurt him. She rips him apart daily, calling him names, and as soon as he leaves the room she puts on this "poor me, I love my husband so much--I don't know what I'd do if something happened to him" act. It's disgusting.

One family member told me that she was worried about my grandpa's well-being. He once whispered to her that he wished he was dead, and it's small wonder. People can only take so much verbal abuse before it starts to sink in, before that person starts to feel less than. And this is what my grandpa is living with every day. I was talking with friends and family (beyond the immediate family) and we're all convinced that my grandma must suffer from some type of mood disorder, but she doesn't trust doctors, and won't take her medicine.

I came home crying on Saturday. I was so upset with how my grandpa is being treated--no one should have to feel like that. And my dad, proving more and more useless as he refuses to set the beer can down, won't say anything. Not that it would do anything anyway, since they're all time-bombs. But I felt so helpless. And it's so bad my grandpa doesn't even want to be alive. So what can be done? Family and friends wish they can do something for my grandpa, but they also don't know what can be done to help. Surely there are ways to report elder abuse, even if it is verbal, and even if it is from the victim's spouse, right?

If anyone has any thoughts, I'd love to read them. I'll be looking into elder abuse, and how one can report it, but if anyone has any experience or advice, it's all welcome.

Lazy Sunday

2009-09-13T15:00:00.000-04:00

I'm all caught up on sleep, but still have to have my Sunday laziness. So here's your link roundup for this week:

I've already said that misogyny is not exclusive to rap, and over at Adventures of a Young Feminist there's an excellent post about thinly veiled misogyny in Theory of a Deadman lyrics.

EvilSlutClique has a post over at SexGenderBody which is hilariously informative: The Handjob Makes a Comeback. Who knew?

piecesofstring discusses the utter fail regarding the lack of media coverage on the alleged assault of Tila Tequila. That's okay. Football's more important, right?

Over at The Pursuit of Harpyness, there's a great takedown of that irritating abstinence commercial that essentially leaves us with the question "Wait, what?"

Renee over at Womanist Musings discusses Caster Semenya's terrible public outing on being intersexed.

And Monica over at Transgriot reminds us that it's her America too. Seriously, enough with the "good ol' days" bullshit already...

If you have links to share, share em.

Dead bodies having sex...oh nooooeeesss!

2009-09-13T14:10:00.001-04:00

Some of you may already know about Body Worlds, the exhibition of cadavers that combines science and art to educate people on human anatomy. These cadavers are preserved in a process known as "plastination."

Body Worlds has come under scrutiny before, the exhibitions being deemed controversial. While fascinating, there are some exhibits that cannot help but make the viewer uncomfortable. I remember when I went to see Body Worlds here in Milwaukee last summer with my fiance. He's a med student, so of course he liked the science aspects, and I loved the artistic aspects.

I saw each preserved and posed cadaver as a sculpture. But of course one cannot help but remember that each of these objects was once a living person, and this fact was never more obvious than the exhibit featuring a plastinated female body with its pregnant belly exposed, showing the preserved fetus inside. A kind plaque informed us that the woman died in a car accident. I couldn't help but think that that woman was too young, and she and her baby were related to someone. I was caught, because while the sculpture was undoubtedly fascinating, frozen in a lithe pose, fetus curled inside the open uterus, I thought the exhibit was unavoidably insensitive.

But I think that's the point. Body Worlds exhibits bodies in poses, which effectively bares our humanity as it is tied to our actual naked anatomy.

The new exhibit will have cadavers in various sex positions to serve as a starting point of the life cycle. This, of course, has incited more controversy. The purpose is to show the raw function of sex as it pertains to conception, and is not meant to imitate pornography:

"It's not my intention to show certain sexual poses. My goal is really to show the anatomy and the function," Body Worlds creative director Whalley told Reuters in an interview, adding the sex exhibition may open next year.
Body Worlds exhibitions, visited by 27 million people across the world, have been criticized for presenting entire corpses, stripped of skin to reveal the muscles and organs underneath, in lifelike and often theatrical positions.
Von Hagens has already triggered uproar with a new exhibit which shows just two copulating corpses.
German politicians called the current "Cycle of Life" show charting conception to old age "revolting" and "unacceptable" when it showed in Berlin earlier this year because it included copulating cadavers.

There are those critics who find this exhibit to be disgusting because it inextricably links death and sex. I'm the first to always point out that intention is inconsequential since it doesn't always equal how an audience will receive it, and this situation is no different. Many critics have stated that this is disrespectful to the dead, but we're not dealing with the dead in a traditional sense. And let's not forget that these bodies are obtained through willing donations--the exhibits are not the results of grave robbing. I feel that we should respect the right of an individual's autonomy over their own body, even in death, and am not sure that this violates that.

I'm all about art that pushes boundaries, but I'm interested in what other people think. I'm not made uncomfortable by sex, and dead body sculptures in sex poses doesn't offend me. In fact, I sort of wish they'd make exhibits with bodies having sex beyond the parameters of conception since most sex isn't for that purpose. And there's more than just straight sex. So what do you all think? Awesome? Disrespectful? Leave your thoughts in the comments.

Information on body donation can be found here. And the FAQs page here.

crossposted

Quick update

2009-09-12T21:32:00.000-04:00

So I got back home about 20 minutes ago, and just wanted to let everyone know regular updates are to resume tomorrow. I was hoping to write something more substantial tonight, but after 7 hours in the car, I am too exhausted, so I'm just going to collapse on my couch and hang out with my fiance until I can't keep my eyes open (which doesn't feel like it will be long).

Good news though: I picked my wedding site and reception hall, and it's almost finalized. I'll give you more details when I have them, but hopefully I won't have to take off to Michigan again for some time.

Have a happy Saturday night!

RIP Hannah

2009-09-10T00:59:00.000-04:00

So I just found out that MommyGrandeur's weenie dog, Hannah, passed away earlier tonight. Mommy and DaddyGrandeur adopted her when she was 11, having immediately fallen in love with her. She was Daddy's girl, and was always on his lap.

Having lost a number of pets (read: fuzzy family members) myself, I am truly sorry for the loss of this dog, but she had a good long life, and was loved, and she will be missed.

Rest in peace, Hanners.

Go figure: "Family values" Michael Duvall brags about having affairs with lobbyists

2009-09-09T18:36:00.001-04:00

Now, I can't say I'm surprised, since many douchebags preaching "family values" get caught cheating on their spouses, but this is pretty fucking low. The women he had affairs with were lobbyists (uh, conflict of interest anyone?). And, as this commenter pointed out, he was bragging about his sexual conquests at work, and despite efforts by his listeners to change the subject, Duvall would keep talking. So not only did this asshole cheat on his wife with lobbyists (uh, yeah, that's bad), but he was talking about it at work, thus creating a hostile environment by making those around him uncomfortable. Workplace sexual harassment, okay?

He has since resigned:

I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state. I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work.

Good. You're a douchebag. I hope your wife divorces your dumb ass.

Filthy news--I'm leaving tomorrow

2009-09-09T16:39:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to let everyone know what's up. I know I took a vacation last month, but this isn't really a vacation: I'm driving back to Michigan for a few days to plan my wedding. Just so we're clear, I don't get into all that princess fairy-tale stuff, and I hate planning things, so this will probably not be enjoyable to me. Plus the 7-hour drive won't help matters.

While I may have internet access at some point, I'm not counting on it, so comments will be published as soon as possible given the limited access I plan on having. I thought about turning off the comments moderation while I'm gone, but since I might not be able to monitor the comments, I'd rather not give the trolls a field-day (just so we're all aware, I get a fair number of troll comments that never get published, and I'd hate to give these people another platform to preach their bigotry).

I'm leaving tomorrow morning and will be back Saturday or Sunday (it really depends on whether I'm up for the extra day of dealing with that side of the family, so we'll see). I'm really excited about the place I'm going to visit, so hopefully it looks as good in person, and then I can really get the planning going. I'm trying to be very disciplined about planning this thing, since I've been known to procrastinate (in school I was the good kind of procrastinator though, since I would wait to the last minute, and still get A's on the essays and assignments). I'll share some details with you all when I get back. I also plan on taking a few pictures, since my fiance's schedule will not allow him to go on this trip with me--that's okay though. No sense in us both being subjected to my family's...uh...issues (my brother excluded, of course).

This will be the last hiatus for awhile, given that I don't like being away from my fiance or grumpy pets for too long. Part of me does get excited, being back in my home state, but it doesn't really feel like home without my fiance there.

Fuzz Therapy

2009-09-09T14:46:00.002-04:00

Some of you may be wondering, "What is 'Fuzz Therapy'?" Well, it's simple really. When you have one of those days where you're just tired, fed up, irritated--whatever, and the only cure is a doze of fuzzy-goodness, then that is called Fuzz Therapy. In the original method, the idea is to approach a fuzzy creature, and place your face in it's soft fuzziness until the bad day seems to float away. Below, I've included a pic of myself indulging in this therapy:

Of course, if you're allergic to kitties, as I am, it's recommended that you not stick your face in a kitty's fluff more than once or twice a week. Unless you really really need to.

As not-nice as my Princess is, she's generally tolerant of me using her as a pillow. She usually lifts her head in a momentary "what the fuck do you think you're doing?" look, and then lays back down when she realizes I'm not going to groom her or clip her nails.

The best part is laying your head on her when she's already all cozy and warm.

Don't forget, you can submit your own fuzzy friend to Fuzz Therapy. See Submission Guidelines.

When gender is enforced

2009-09-09T12:24:00.000-04:00

Not only was Caster Semenya subjected to gender testing, now she's had a makeover.

Because people find a strong athletic woman somehow threatening if she's somehow too masculine, an 18-year-old woman has been subjected to testing to prove her gender (the idea of which I can't get my head around, since gender is an identity), and has just had a makeover done in an attempt to perform the femininity she's been accused of lacking. Question: how the fuck does this woman wearing lipstick and jewelry affect her running?

As Ariel says on Feministing:

Athleticism is stereotyped as a strictly male trait. The public's discomfort with female masculinity led to the expectation that as a woman, Semenya must compensate for her threatening athleticism with femininity.

[...]

"You" magazine simply changed Semenya to fit the dichotomy. And at the end of the day, women must express femininity as seen on a magazine cover to gain true acceptance.

Ugh. I just can't believe we're subjecting a young woman to this. It's fucking ridiculous.

???????????

2009-09-08T07:24:00.004-04:00

I seriously couldn't think of a better title.

Above is a poster from a German AIDs awareness group, which professes "AIDs is a mass murderer."

Due to sleep deprivation, I've written this post in the form of my thought process:

What the hell?
Is that Hitler?
Oh, it's about AIDs.
Wait, it's about AIDs?
Oh, cuz both Hitler and AIDs are mass murderers.
But...he's not murdering in the poster. He's having sex. And looking at us. Creepily.
Is this a warning to women?
Who is that lady?
Okay, I think I got it. Have sex with Hitler = you get AIDs.
What?

While I'm all about raising awareness about important issues, and educating people on having safe sex, but I'm not sure what shocking / shaming people accomplishes. Oh, there's also a graphic video (you've been warned).

So far, I'm only seeing women having sex with terrible dictators as a metaphor for contracting AIDs, and can't help but see this as more slut-shaming (woman making bad choices, and is apparently into the sex with that evil evil man--dirty slut!). And what does this say to those people with HIV and AIDs?

I certainly get why it would be problematic to show posters of Hitler and Stalin actually mass murdering people, but why didn't it occur to those behind this campaign that images of women having sex with mass murderers acting as a metaphor for contracting AIDs is also problematic?

Lazy Sunday: I fly a kite edition

2009-09-06T14:10:00.005-04:00

Provided the wind is nice today, I'll be flying my kite again. You can't tell when the kite is really high, but there's a wizard riding a dragon on it. When it gets high, it just looks like a giant moth or something. There's this old guy with a really fancy kite that totally owns my little cheapy, but oh well--it's about having fun right?

As usual, I got a few links for you to enjoy.

First up, Renee at Womanist Musings discusses Chris Brown's Larry King appearance, and examines the continuing victim-blaming. Also, in a moving post about the true cost of a cigarette, Renee discusses child exploitation and labor. These children not only face health risks from inhaling the tobacco, but also risks of being sexually and physically assaulted by their supervisors.

There's a post over at the hasarder diaries that breaks down a Cosmo article which blames women for being raped. The writer of said Cosmo article discusses the "gray" areas of rape, despite that it's just more victim-blaming. The author of the post does a great job breaking it down.

piecesofstring has a post up at SexGenderBody (woo!) about a comic (comic included in the link) which shames women for breast-feeding in public. The kicker? The comic is written by a lady. It's pretty disgusting, actually, since the author of the comic refers to breasts as "veiny fleshbags," and then compares breastfeeding to pulling off her own shirt so her boyfriend can suck on her breasts. Huh...so we still can't separate breasts from sexual objects at all. But there's a difference between a boyfriend sucking on a breast, and nourishing a baby! Just go read the post.

And Mustang Bobby over at Shakesville has a quick post on brainwashing, in a sort of response to the bullshit accusations Obama is getting for telling children learning is important.

Feel free to share your links in the comments. I'm always up for new reading material. Have a great holiday weekend, US peeps. I'm going to go fly my kite again.

Gender, sexuality, and objectification in Lil Wayne's 2009 performance of "Lollipop"

2009-09-04T13:43:00.005-04:00

This post examines the live performance of "Lollipop" from the 2009 "America's Most Wanted" tour. I think it's safe to say that the above video and this post are NSFW. The lyrics are explicit.

Please note that yes, I identify as a feminist, and as such will not tolerate "you can't be feminist and like rap music," for two reasons: 1). my feminism is not negated by my support or patronage of a genre of music in which I have no control, and 2). sexism and misogyny are not exclusive to the rap genre (I notice when I say I like rock music, no one says "omg but you're a feminist!" to which I can't help but think there's a touch of racism in there, which is also not to be tolerated). That said, enjoy the post.

I wrote a post yesterday discussing the Lil Wayne concert I went to Wednesday night, and in it I briefly touch on Lil Wayne's use of women in the show, and I wanted to delve further into presentations of gender in the performance, specifically in the performance of the hit "Lollipop."

Before I get to it though, you should all know that I love love love this song. I love how the words sound, I love the beat--and in this performance especially with the electric guitars. It's a wonderful work. I start this out with praise only because oftentimes people mistake my discussion of gender presentations as negative criticism, rather than what it is: pointing out what is right in front of you.

What's interesting about this song, is that it tends to objectify both men and women. In the beginning of the song, we hear "I say he so sweet make her wanna lick the rapper. So I let her lick the rapper." This makes him the passive object, one which is sexually desired by women. Yet he's still the one in control. The men (the band members, DJ 45, and Lil Wayne) embody the aggressive masculine objects--dressed in tight-fitting tanks, the men display their bodies as masculine objects for the women (both onstage and offstage), and also for the homosocial gaze as a display for other males (onstage and offstage). The men exude typical rock-hard hypermasculinity, which tends to go hand in hand in regards to rap and hip-hop.

But the women serve as typical feminine objects throughout, both in the performance and in the lyrics. A couple lines focus on parts of the women's bodies, such as "ass" and "pussy." In several instances we have "bring that ass back," and of course there's mention of her "lovely lady lumps," which pretty much covers all bases. The lyrics of lollipop reduce women to their parts, and this is even evident in the performance of the song. True enough, the women are, not surprisingly, dressed in tight-fitting, revealing clothing, accentuating the typical lady assets: legs, breasts, and ass. In one song of the concert, Nicki Minaj was fully clothed, but in a skin-tight leather outfit that appeared painted on.

And then we have the lyrics and the performance simultaneously objectifying the women, where Lil Wayne sings "I'ma hit it hit it like I can't miss," while thrusting against Shanell from behind. In the background, we see the pole-dancers (all women, as this is understood to be a feminine sexual dance), which add to the whole rapper sex party image. A number of times during the concert, women dancers would come on stage to grope Lil Wayne, sometimes kneeling on either side of him to pull on his belt in a suggestive manner. The lesson? Lil Wayne has droves of sexy women at his disposal, illustrating his masculinity through the command of female bodies.

While the women's expression of sexuality is their own business, it is still evident that it is not a personal expression, but rather an expression that is for the heterosexual male gaze, uplifting Lil Wayne's own expression of masculinity in such a way that it completely overshadows the women's obvious talent as singers and dancers beyond the scope of their sexual parts.

crossposted

Adorable gay marriage ad

2009-09-04T13:30:00.001-04:00

And of course, it's spot on: