it's for "her"; says so right on the can!

Yeah, so I first noticed this monstrosity on a shelf at the store I work at, in the upper corner of the energy drinks section--a tiny pink stain on the wall that is the manly energy drink.

Because my vagina means I'm totally intimidated by those other manly drinks, with names like "Rockstar" and "Monster," there's now "her." Yes, "her."

My lady-brain knows it's for me, since it's got that helpful feminine pronoun right on the can. And it's pink! Because we all know women are incapable of purchasing products unless they're pink. And we're all so stupid being constantly choked by our vaginas and ovaries and whatnot, that unless they spell it out ("hey, it's for HER") we're just not going to fucking get it.

On a side note, I have to say I'm a little freaked out by the "her" website's tabs: "her home," "about her," "locate her," "buy her"--what the fuck???

Wishing to learn how this (stalker-invoking) lady energy drink differs from it's manlier counterparts, I read this:

her, or Healthy. Energy. Revitalizer is the first active lifestyle energy drink with women in mind. her Energy provides our consumers with a fresh, clean, and great tasting alternative to the other energy drinks out there on the market. Unlike other energy drinks, her will not make you “crash” or give you the “jitters”. The her formula is designed to give you just the boost you need without over doing it.

her’s sleek and stylish can is reflective of our consumers. her is geared towards women who are on the go with active lifestyles while maintaining that fun and flirty image.

her is based in Hollywood, California and is a favorite among the Hollywood elite, however it remains ideal for any and all consumers.

(Oh yeah, and every instance of "her" is written in pink. Gross.)

Thanks for spelling it out for us--again.

"her" is not like other energy drinks (but...it makes the same claims...). And let's observe the "sleek and stylish" can--minus that obnoxious color, it's the same size and shape as other energy drink cans.

Oh, it's reflective of your consumers? You mean those airbrushed white ladies up there bouncing around and drinking "her" in their panties? Got it.

"Fun and flirty image"???? Do I really have to go there?

Hollywood elite, eh? Well, that's mighty generous of you to have it available for us unimportant peons. I'm guessing your "any and all consumers" is similar to that "all men created equal" thing, right? I gotcha.

Just another example of how fucking clueless people are when it comes to marketing things for women. Morons.

Adding my voice to the awesomeness of the Diva Cup

Yeah, this is a period post, and certainly can fall into the TMI category. Male readership, I'll give you a free pass on this one, but I still issue the challenge to stay, since I'm all about normalizing the natural process that is the female menstrual cycle.

I had heard about the Diva Cup before, but wasn't that curious about it. It wasn't until this post, which I found via Shakesville that I found myself reading more about it. In fact, after only an hour of posting my comment at Jump off the Bridge, I located a store that carried the Diva Cup, and rushed off to purchase one. And then the impossible happened--I couldn't wait for my period to start so that I could try it out.

It has been such a relief, especially since my period started while I was on my vacation. I was thrilled not having to pack extra tampons, or having to count out the day's rations before going somewhere. The cup is ten times more comfortable than tampons, and is actually pretty simple to get in place. I don't know about anyone else, but after a week of using tampons, my lady parts are a little less than happy. And of course there's that good feeling that I'm reducing waste by using a reusable product. So now I'm saving money, I don't have to worry about running out of tampons, I have no worries about leaks, and I'm using a product that is not the least uncomfortable. I'm going to call that a win.

My only regret is not buying this miracle product sooner.

Now, if only I didn't have to take a handful of ibuprofen to get rid of these cramps, it'd be like my period was nonexistent!

lulz

It says volumes of me that as soon as I got to Florida I checked out my blog...well, I'll make it quick. I was just checking my stats, when I came to this site, which links to my post about Extenze for women. Apparently me talking about Extenze for women at all counts as an "Extenze for women link." Uh, no, assholes--you completely missed the point. Not to mention that the quote that is under my link is a quote I took directly from the Extenze for women website.

So let's be clear: I, FilthyGrandeur, think this product is fucking ridiculous, and I do not, nor does the "o filthy grandeur!" site endorse this shit product.

Then again, maybe it's a good thing--hopefully people become aware of how stupid it is and change their minds about buying it.

I love that I'm at the top of their link list to. I feel all powerful. I have to wonder about the amount of research the went into this link compilation.

Extenze for women--so the men already taking Extenze have something to fuck

Finally! An Extenze for women!!

This website assures me that

"No longer is sexual enhancement focused on the needs of men!"

Well, great! They further tell me

"Taken as a daily supplement, women will notice a change in their sexual drive, one that echoes youthful passion and excitement."

Awesome!

"Women have their own sexual wants and needs, but so often they are overlooked by product developers. Extenze took notice and created a specially formulated product that provides a healthy sexual nutritional supplement for women."

So why do the tv ads and the site seem to only care about women's sexuality within a heterosexual relationship? I love how all the Extenze ads for men are filled with sexy women, dangling ass and titties at the poor impotent fool until he's overcome with desire for a boner that he buys this product (I'm not even bothering to embed the videos here--I'm sure you've seen them).

This new Extenze for Women seems to me to be a Part II for the male product. "So, you've got this boner and your lady's not in the mood, huh? Well, we can fix that!"

Oh, and for anyone that wants to tell me I'm "looking too much into this," tell me why the site for the lady's product has links to not only the male Extenze, but also products such as Stiff Nights, and Sweeterex (guess what that's for)?

I love how all the sites aimed at men are of the soft-core porn variety, with passive (and presumably fuckable) women, while the one at women (while still sexy, though with PINK!!) shows a woman embracing a man, which sort of makes me think of erotica. Notice also the difference in icons of the male and female Extenze--women get a kiss, men get a woman with her ass thrust out. WTF???

Update: It has not escaped my notice that the ads for both the male and female products feature mostly white men and women--I think I only saw one black man once. But that's okay, since presumably black men don't need male enhancement, right?