"There never was a member so defined..."

Note: this is a sonnet I wrote for my fiance, or rather, his penis. I decided to post it because of a recent article posted by Renee over at Womanist Musings, about being a dickist. The sonnet is basically a joke, my take on a famous form of poetry that was mostly written by men urging women to have sex with them, and is meant to be funny. I intentionally utilized archetypical images of maleness, so don't lecture me about it--I'm fully aware.

There never was a member so defined
By manliness manifested by so great a spear,
Which enraptures all, and weakens minds
In its skill and evocation of fear.
So great it is, both in length and power
That one falls prey to its thrust;
And what can it be called short of "spectacular,"
But one finds there are no words so just.
So praise unto this wonderful cock,
Which elicits pleasure and desire;
Where others can pityingly mock,
This magnificent one never tires.
So masculine, Herculean, and hard,
It is luscious, lavish, and unmarred.