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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Dear asshole,

You know who you are. You're that guy at my work wishing the media would "shut up already" about Michael Jackson's death. You're that woman who never listened to his music anyway, so his loss is not your loss. You're of the privileged group that thinks it's up to you to decide what should and shouldn't be talked about; you are apparently so privileged that you think you can tell me how I should mourn (or shouldn't mourn).

Newsflash asshole: the whole world is mourning him, and you have the fucking nerve to tell everyone to "get over it already"?

His life and incomparable contributions to music may not mean anything to a douchebag like you, but that doesn't give you the fucking right to tell the rest of us to suck it up. No, I am not going to shut up about Michael Jackson, because I loved that man, and still cannot believe that his death is real. Mourning is coming to terms with that reality.

You do not get to tell me what I can or cannot cry about. You don't get to decide who matters and who doesn't. So kindly shut the fuck up. You know, since I'm feeling so generous today, here's something you should know: no one knows you're an asshole until you open your damn mouth.

Sincerely,
FilthyGrandeur

8 comments:

Max Reddick said...

Well said! Some people don't believe in pain until pain becomes personal. These are the same people who will be mourning their cat Noodles or dog Freckles but get mad at you because you just don't get their grief but get peeved because so much media play is being given to MJ.

Empress said...

Hell yes! I mean, I understand that obviously we don't want to ignore what's going on in Honduras, Iran, and, um, Alaska, but how often does sports end up as one of the top stories? It happens pretty damn often, and nobody seems to gripe about that. But when it's somebody who actually made a goddamn difference in the world, and that person is gone, suddenly we need a national freakout because OMG people have the nerve to be UPSET! And to not get over it immediately! For many of us, we can't even remember a time (ha!) when he wasn't around, and I know for me soooo many of my memories involve Michael Jackson songs that even when I'm going about my ordinary business and not thinking about it, I'll suddenly find something reminding me of his death, which makes it harder to just get over.

I also think music can play an unusually important role in someone's life that other types of art can't. After all, don't most of us have a song running through our head at all times? And most everywhere we go -- stores, the beach, road trips, there's always some type of music playing in the background, not to mention events like school dances, weddings, going out to the clubs, etc, where music plays an integral part. Also, for most people I think it's much more comforting when you're upset about something to listen to a song or album than to watch a movie or look at a piece of art (not that those things can't also be comforting) or to play or sing a piece of music -- I can't even count how many times I cried when I was younger while playing "Will You Be There" on the piano. Music is literally all around us, all the time, and musicians therefore become incredibly important to us; for some of us, they may even save our lives.

So yes, you have every right to your pain, for as long as you need to feel it.

jemimaaslana said...

I do love Jackson's music, but honestly, we have two channels with constant news feed here in DK, and when I can sit and watch either of them for a full HOUR without hearing about anything but Michael Jackson it's TOO MUCH. The man's dead, it's a tragic loss, 50 is waaaaaay too early to kick the bucket, but seriously, can we please also hear about the two ships that collided yesterday? The so far 5 women who've been raped on a festival the opened two days ago? The move to outlaw the purchase of sexual services?

I'm not trying to ignore your pain, for many people it's real and profound and I respect that, but for the rest of us: livefeed news from Neverland with a reporter saying: "Well, what's happened here is we're still waiting for something to happen!" is actually fairly insulting to us.

Yes, by now I'm sick of hearing the man's name and I've loved his music since I was a child. What has made me sick? The media's constant blabber about absolutely nothing. So yes, I, too, wish they'd shut the fuck up. Now we know the memorial service will be held on Tuesday, fine, so shut up about it until Tuesday unless there's some actual news to broadcast.

Geez. People can talk all they like, but I'd like for my news to be prioritized after level of importance and after the news that he's dead, the results of the autopsy and the fate of his children other things are waaaaaay more important than how fast the internet site handling tickets for the service went down. Especially since, you know, it's not even accessible for people outside the US.

The media have made me hate the name of a man I admire. Gods, I hate the media.

Oh and: no, the whole world is not mourning him. PEOPLE all over the world are. There are also some who aren't. So if you really wanna be asinine and get on this guy's case for being fed up with media obsession, do be so kind as to get your wording straight.

FilthyGrandeur said...

jemimaaslan:

Thanks for reading. and thanks for disrespecting me in my space. while i agree with you that the media is focusing too much on him and that there are other things going on that certainly should be covered, there is no reason for you to come to my space and insult me. i don't bother watching t.v. anymore anyway, so i still get my news elsewhere. you can probably do the same. I've long had issue with the media anyway.

also, thanks for pointing out my "incorrect" wording. may i point out that your use of the colon is wrong?

According the fifth edition of A Writer's Reference, a colon is used "after an independent clause to direct attention to a list, an appositive, or a quotation." "Oh and" is not an independent clause.

if you're going to point out my wording you can at least use correct punctuation.

jemimaaslana said...

I wasn't trying to disrespect you. I merely found it somewhat curious that you blast someone for not wanting to hear endless blabber about nothing at all. From the quote you wrote, the guy didn't wish the media had never brought the news or covered it at all, just that they'd quit while they're ahead. But then again - I could've interpreted that wrong.

If you can see and do agree that the media is focusing way too much on Jackson's tragic demise, why is the complaints about the media's over-the-top focus the topic of your complaint? Do you agree or do you not?

Anyway, I'm not entirely clear on how I insulted you, was it my *ahem* too vehement disagreement? I really didn't mean to be insulting, by now I'm just a liiiiittle bit annoyed that the death of one man, however much he was admirable, apparently trumps everything else in importance. I find that rather offensive to the people whose lives are ignored because of these priorities, and you defended that kind of prioritizing the dead over the living. I disagree with that, but I did not mean to be insulting in the process. For that I apologize.

You said that "we don't get to choose who matters and who doesn't". Well, I hardly think the Jackson fans are the ones being trampled all over with complete silence on their favoured subject. Quite the opposite, the oodles of live-feed-minutes spent on little nothings about Jackson effectively silences news that are important to others.

Make no assumptions about my news sources. I don't have 200 channels to choose from. I'm from Denmark and online Danish news are sorely lacking except for the sensationalist media(who coincidentally focus on Jackson's death). I cannot afford to buy newspapers, nor can I afford to buy access to in-depth news sources online, heck, I can't even afford my rent right now, but that's neither here nor there. Thus I have to rely on our public service channels, but both of those have decided that the death of an American star trumps a ship-wreck, a kidnapped baby in dire need of medication, several rapes, etc.

So no, I do not get my news elsewhere. Unless someone else will be willing to pay for it for me.

I pointed out the issue with your wording, because using a false argument isn't really a good argument at all so why make it? My colon use was flawed, indeed. Nothing much to say about that. I managed to use a colon instead of a dash in my haste, the keys are next to each other - fuck-ups happen.

Also, do keep talking about Jackson. So far I've read many an interesting post about his life and achievements. It's thought-provoking, though, that the most interesting commentary on his death are from bloggers and not from the established media. Hence, I still don't get what your issue with some people wanting the media to STFU is.

Still puzzled.

And sorry again. Disrespect was truly not my intent. I made the mistake of thinking it was about me, since I had just had to wait through Jackson-stuff for quite long to get some non-Jackson news. When taking your words as they stand, I do belong in the group defined by those words, what with the wishing the media would shut up about it. But I truly do respect your feeling of loss, even if I don't understand it, and I wouldn't dream of telling you how to mourn or not to mourn for that matter. I'm sure some people find me quite ridiculous for being as attached to my cats as I am, but fuck it, that's just the way it is, and if people have grown attached to a singer then that's just the way that is.

Please note that I didn't at any point tell you what to feel or to get over it. Nor will I. Too often have I been told to feel differently than I do, and well, while we do control what we do about our feelings, we don't control the feelings themselves.

I'm sorry I managed to stomp so thoroughly on your toes. I hope I might be forgiven. Sorry.

FilthyGrandeur said...

@ jemimaaslana--

thanks for the apology. i should also apologize to you since i'm clearly a bit touchy on anything michael jackson related. i think part of this is that the particular person that spurred the post in the first place has a penchant for trying to silence others with his snide remarks, so when he made this comment about MJ i had pretty much had it with him.

but i do think that there are other things equally, if not more, important that deserve attention. one man's life is no more important than another person's, so yeah, the media should tone it down. i find it adequate that other stations other than news-oriented ones are playing tributes, so certainly the news should focus on other news. i only ask that we respect those who are mourning, even if you don't understand it--MJ was important to a lot of us for a variety of reasons, and his loss is quite painful.

so i apologize for my defensiveness.

jemimaaslana said...

All settled then.

Ahhh, with that bit of background knowledge about the dude you quoted, it makes perfect sense you interpreted it the way you did. I probably would have, too.

One of my cats have recently been very, very ill. Near death actually, and twice I've had to rush him to the vet for emergency treatment. Both my boyfriend and I have a soft spot the size of Jupiter for animals; and especially animals in pain.

Thus, when my father-in-law asked my boyfriend why we didn't just have the creature put down instead of spending so much money on him, my boyfriend got SO angry. His dad has his very own immense soft spot for his own cat (his cat's spoiled rotten, too), how dare he suggest that we can 'just' have him put down! He was not the most popular man right there. He also did concede that what he'd said was thoughtless, though, so he's forgiven.

Anyway, the above anecdote is just for the sake of showing that sometimes people simply do not understand why others feel the way they do. I have an ASD, so I'm so very used to people telling me "why don't you just...?" so I completely understand that people's emotions can develop in many different directions, some of them more strange than others, and that's just part of being human, and it needs to be accepted and acknowledged.

'Tis a big planet, there should be room enough for all of our strangeness :P Even if some people (eg. Jackson-haters) like to pretend they'd suffocate if there's too much strangeness around. They're the ones missing out in the end, though, on some great works of musical art (in the case of Jackson, at least).

FilthyGrandeur said...

i hope your cat is going to be okay. i recently had to take my cat in, though it's certainly not as serious as i thought it would be: http://filthygrandeur.blogspot.com/2009/07/princess-pain-in-ass.html

i totally feel you on loving animals; i also get very upset when people tell me to put my pet down. i once spent forty dollars on a vet bill for a rat that cost four, and my stepdad said it was stupid to spend money on it--as much as i love him, i was kind of upset that he said that seeing as how i knew he'd do the exact same if something ever happened to his dog (she is like a baby to him). it's good that your boyfriend also loves animals. my fiance tolerates my pets, but doesn't really like them. but at least he never tells me to put them down. he knows that'd be a deal breaker. i've had my cat sixteen years; i've only been with him for four and a half. guess who i'd pick if i had to? ;)

we all care about something that others may find ridiculous...

keep me posted on your cat.