LOL you're a feminist!

A conversation with a male co-worker made me realize something: apparently me being open about my feminist inclinations is nothing more than ammunition for my co-workers, and even friends.

As a woman who frequently refers to her own feminist beliefs, I've encountered all kinds. Other feminists, and certainly womanists (especially since this term is not yet widely known, many people simply say this word doesn't exist, which is bullshit and shows that they know nothing about the nature of language) will know what I'm talking about. "Feminism" is a bad word. I've encountered men who are immediately turned off by that, writing me off as not worth the trouble--which is a good way to weed out men, as their reaction indicates to me that I'm saving myself a lot of frustration. I've also met my share of women who abhor not only the word "feminist" but the imagery it conjures up: the stereotypes of unshaven, unattractive women (I use these terms in the relative sense); the myth of angry bra-burners, cause some women to jerk away from this label, and even insult or ridicule the women that are open about their push for equality. I've encountered several that were afraid of being seen as a feminist, fearing it would deter dating prospects.

I've lost count of how many times I've had a woman laugh at me and say, "Oh, you're a feminist?"

So, I'm joking around with this co-worker, and he tells me and another male co-worker that he wants to quit his job and become a pimp, citing some made up income as reason enough to have "a couple of hoes." I laughed, and said, "Do you really want to have this conversation with a feminist?" To which he replied: "That's why I said it, because I know you're a feminist."

What's interesting to me about this exchange is actually a couple of things:

1). I am the only woman he said this "joke" to, specifically because I'm feminist, which made me realize that despite the numerous women I work with (I'd say that there's even a majority of women there) I'm the one he singled out with his obvious sexism and misogyny in the loving form of the "joke." I'm the lone woman muttering about women's rights.

2). This is another example of someone telling me something sexist and misogynist in the guise of a "joke," in a supposed illustration of their non-sexism. I could be wrong, but there are better ways to show someone you're not sexist. I know this co-worker was not being sincere, and he has indicated to me a number of times that he certainly respects women, and is not at all intimidated by successful women; so then, why make this joke?

3). My feminism is treated like an anomaly in which people prod at. It's almost like they expect me to be ashamed as they point it out and make jokes meant to incite that part of me. It's like they think it should be an insecurity that's fair game to all. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the compulsion some people have to knowingly say something offensive to purposely annoy someone. But then, I don't really understand this desire to be "edgy" either.

Apparently having the audacity to believe that women are not lesser than men warrants teasing. But then I'm feminist, and can't take a joke, right?