Thursday, August 6, 2009

On extreme anti-feminism

[Trigger warning]

By now you've undoubtedly heard of the shooting that took place Tuesday night. I've been avoiding writing anything about it because it's deeply upset me. The media has almost been sympathizing with the killer, George Sodini, labeling him a lonely man who just wanted to get laid. This, of course, has brought the MRAs and the anti-feminists out of the fucking woodwork, which has only upset me more.

This man who apparently thought he deserved a woman, and was so obsessed by this that he felt it was his duty to openly murder women at a gym as some sick retribution has been uplifted as a hero. I found some quotes over at Alas, a blog, and while I will not post them here, I feel I should respond in some manner. Just as a warning, I found it difficult to read any of them, and couldn't even bring myself to finish reading them.

I am forced to confront my own fear on a daily basis, a fear that men can never know. They can sympathize, but they'll never know what it's like to wake up, and be afraid. To wonder if the shirt I am putting on will get me raped, or if my challenge to patriarchy by blogging or by speaking up to family and friends will earn me more than ridicule. Every time there is a tragedy like this one, I feel something in me wilt and die. My heart goes out to the victims.

But I cannot ever act like it has not affected me because I wasn't there, because I wasn't one of the victims. Horrors such as this serve as constant stinging reminders of how men like Sodini, and men in support of Sodini, feel just in their violence against women. Women should never have to have sex with a man without consenting (it's rape, no matter how you skirt around it). Women should never have to be in fear for living their lives, for having autonomy over their own bodies. Rape and violence is never justifiable, and to say that women (feminists in particular) should simply "put out" whenever the fuck a man wants is absolutely sickening. The sheer numbers of people defending this sick man is frightening in itself.

Not only is there victim-blaming (even though Sodini never knew the women he shot) but we have men saying that they deserve to use women's bodies as they wish, and if the women refuse, then suddenly there's this right to take sex. Buying me a drink does not give anyone the right to rape me, nor does my rejection warrant my murder, and this is true for all women.

Tragedies such as this are perceived as punishments to women. To show us what will happen if we have the audacity to speak up for (deserved) equality. We are in constant threat, where acts such as this serve as reminders: "See what could happen?" the media seems to ask, and anti-feminists applaud.

But these sickening reminders only reaffirm a determination to fight for women's rights because we're human, not some fuckable toy which men get to use as they please. We have rights to safety and autonomy, and assholes like Sodini, and the ones guilty of uplifting him as a goddamn hero need to learn that.

This just illustrates how far we really haven't come at all.


Note: The commenting policy is strictly enforced, and this post will be no different. Anti-feminist comments and comments inciting / commending violence against women will not appear on this page.


Anonymous said...

What's funny to me about this, is the very apparent feminist hypocrisy involved.

When a woman kills her spouse/boyfriend/kids/etc, feminists immediately jump in to defend her. Society, they say. Post-partum depression, they say. It wasn't her fault, men pushed her to it, they say. She's not responsible for her actions, someone/anyone else is, they say. She's a victim, not a criminal, they say.

When a man does it? He's a misogynist, horrific bastard, who is in complete control of his actions at all time (no insanity defense for him!) and in fact, all men are like this, let's get angry at them!

When we're dealing with the insane, it's more than a little unfair and disingenuous to try to claim that insanity results from this or that or the other thing, and that "IT COULD HAPPEN TO YOUUUUU!".

Fact is, if you want to talk about living in fear of being killed, there are two groups: One is 70% more likely to be a victim of violent crime than the other.

I belong to that group.

You don't. Tell me again why you, of all people, should fear violence, when you're much, much less likely than I am to be a victim of it?

I'm not trying to razz you here, but I'm honestly curious.

It also falls into common feminist stereotyping, shaming, and silencing, when you use such statements as:

Women should never have to have sex with a man without consenting (it's rape, no matter how you skirt around it). Women should never have to be in fear for living their lives, for having autonomy over their own bodies.

What does this do, except continue to prop up the generalizing stereotypes of "Woman = victim, man = perpetrator"?

Men should never have to have sex with a woman without consenting (it's rape, no matter how you skirt around it). Men should never have to be in fear for living their lives, for having autonomy over their own bodies.

How about that? That statement would bother you, wouldn't it? It implies women are capable of violence and rape, which, they are. Feminists don't want to acknowledge it, and they want to just sweep male victims of such under the rug.

How about:

"Humans should never have to have sex with another human without consenting (it's rape, no matter how you skirt around it). Humans should never have to be in fear for living their lives, for having autonomy over their own bodies. "

I like that one, myself. I just find it troubling, when feminists painstakingly create the "Men are always criminals, women are always victims (even when they're criminals)".

Feminists never spoke ill of Valerie Solanas for shooting, with intent to kill, Andy Warhol, based solely on his gender. Nor her plans to attempt this on as many men as possible.

I'm sure you'll consider this antifeminist, because as I've noticed, anything that doesn't uplift women are innocent, perfect, untouchable victims of all evil men, and instead paints them as real people, just as capable of great evil, is considered antifeminist.

So, if it was posted or not, you still read it. Good enough for me.

FilthyGrandeur said...


I only published your comment because I wanted the opportunity to respond to it: what you apparently fail to recognize is that I'm talking about this specific incident about a specific man who was known to have written sexist, racist, and misogynist things on his blog prior to the execution of his revenge on women. so you telling me that feminists in general are quick to defend the women is nothing more than your disgusting attempt at victim-blaming. I am one feminist, and do not pretend to represent all feminists. you apparently know nothing about me or this blog, so don't come at me again with this shit.

FilthyGrandeur said...

note also, that the phrase "revenge on women" is to be used ironically--i forgot my ironic quotes.

Imhotep said...

Filthy Grandeur, The slanted support for the perpetrator of this most heinous and cowardly of crimes is truly disgusting. But this is nothing new, those that shape the narrative—white male controlled media-- will rarely demonize someone who looks like them. Can you imagine the indignation and outrage if the shooter was a man of color? The narrative would be all about race, and the savagery of poc. I went over to Atlas, and could not believe the cheerleading for a cold blooded killer, and the fact that the shooter was a white male is completely ignored.

I believe you are completely justified in your fears and suspicions, after all this is a world run amuck with male privilege. Don't let that stop you from speaking your mind.

Ssejors said...

I honestly thought that this was a major reason for WHY we need to legalize prostitution. There is absolutely no reason why anyone should have to resort to murder because of not getting laid. If the man wanted to get laid that badly he should have lowered his standards or perhaps gone to a professional. What no one mentions here is that Maybe "Nice Guy" George was a total creapo that weirded women out, and maybe he set his bar too high, maybe his over ambitious expectations were the reason for his complete and utter failure with women. No one says, gee... Maybe he should have tried a different tactic with the ladies. Instead all those comments mentioned how great it was to see that George finally stuck it to the bitches that denied him. If you are Fat, Hairy, Smelly, Rude, Stupid, have no charisma, are totally unintelligent and are a complete perv / chauvonist pig, well i can't think of too many women who would WANT to date you let alone SLEEP with you. Perhaps George was a total Douche and just couldn't accept that. But let's blame all the dirty bitches that wouldn't fuck him.. GAWWWWWWW!! This comment is so fucking perturbing! "I first thought about those frigid harpies at the exercise studio who were too up-tight to give a guy a chance on a date. I bet when the lights went out and they felt those warm bullets entering their bodies they wished that they had been a little nicer to the guys out there who just needed a date." WELL GEE AS A WOMAN I GUESS WE SHOULD JUST GO AROUND DATING AND SLEEPING WITH ANY MAN WHO ASKS US OUT GOD FORBID HE OWN A GUN. I read these comments and I picture a bunch of unhappy single men who have been turned down, and probably for good reason, like bad breath, poor attitudes, or maybe just because she wasn't single. I don't see that this act was justified at all... no matter who did what to who... There is no justifying taking a persons life cause you didn't get what you want.. George Sodini was a big fucking baby!

FilthyGrandeur said...


thanks for reading. however i do have to disagree with you on one point. i don't think legalized prostitution would have prevented Sodini from committing this atrocity. i chose not to reproduce his blog posts here because i found them extremely disturbing, but if you really want to find them i'm sure you can google them. he was quite clearly obsessed with women. he wanted a woman as a possession, not a partner. he saw men with other women and felt emasculated because he didn't have one. he was extremely racist because he saw black men as competition. this wasn't about getting laid. he was obsessed with OWNING a woman. he truly believed he deserved to have a woman. women were nothing more than objects to him. and with this attitude i can't help but think that it wasn't his reportedly "good looks" that made them reject him--reading just a little of his blog posts exuded heavy creepiness, and given his actions i'm not surprised that women rejected him...

i can't see him as a sad man that couldn't get sex. i see him as a disgusting misogynist predator who thought himself deserving of a woman's body. i cannot see him in any sympathetic life. and while i'm sure there are very good reasons for legalized prostitution, i think that Sodini's crime should stay out of the discussion of it.

i hope this doesn't sound rude at all--I just wanted everyone here to be aware of how fucked up Sodini was.

Ssejors said...

Totally Respect your response! You didn't sound rude at all.

I totally get the impression that he had an uber creepy factor that just turned women right off. And as nice and handsome as a man is, if he has the creepy X Factor. . . Lots of Women will see it.